04 February 2013

Richard III's car park body confirmed. Leicestershire Police department happy.

No one was happier to get the final confirmation of the car park body provenance than the Leicestershire Chief Constable.

A skeleton found beneath a Leicester car park has been confirmed as that of English king Richard III.
CC Dolp was absolutely exuberant during the interview:

"Every damn year we find up to 100 stiffs in different states of putrefaction in Leicestershire's freaking car parks. Most of them are easily identified, but some are a royal pain in the arse, believe you me. That one was the worst yet..."
Asked why remains dating to XV century should be of any concern to the police department, CC Dolp exploded:
"You just don't understand how the forking bureaucrats in forking London work. They just give you a damned point for every forking year a stiff remains unidentified. The more forking points you get the deeper in the shite you are, got it? Meaning I need a five hundred years old stiff in my crime statistics like I need... [unprintable] in my forking backside".

A really scientific angle of the find is discussed here.

8 comments:

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Haha!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

They can clone him, get rid of the curvature of the spine and then replace the inbred idiot on the British throne.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Hmm. His hands appeared to have been tied and he also appeared to have died from blows to the head. A bit of regicide, have we? No Downton Abby "community" there, eh?

SnoopyTheGoon said...

What, the old woman? Or her halfwit son?

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Get rid of the curvature? But then his value will drop to nothing!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

And quite a lot of blows. Someone wanted to make very sure he is not going to come back from that grave.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Well, he had just been in a battle, but the tied hands are suspicious, as the coppers would put it.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Yep.