30 June 2012

As I should also have said...

In my haste, I forgot to include other good news on Israel from the JC. Professor Alan Johnson, BICOM Senior Research Fellow, has an excellent article in the JC (found here) in which he argues for the TUC to continue to retain links with the Histadrut. This is for good, internationalist, trade union reasons: Histadrut and the Palestinian equivalent have good relations and are working both for a two-state solution, as well as to advance pay and better working conditions for Palestinian workers.

You might also find Johnson's pamphlet on the same topic, but at greater length, also interesting.

By Brian Goldfarb.

29 June 2012

The bad and the good news for Israel in the JC

So, we've been away for most of June, which means that I've not had the pain of reading about what the bad guys have been doing. But no sooner do I come back than I find the following, most of which could be labelled dreck, if no-one objects to that word.

First off we have this, which is all about something called the Ecumenical Accompaniment Programme in Palestine and Israel (EAPPI) and is not about Israel at all, except insofar as it characterises Israel as (altogether now:) uniquely evil in the region, if not the world. Among the major leaders are the Quakers, who seem to have left their balance behind them, as far as the Middle East is concerned.

The Board of Deputies, not always noted for getting angry enough to make their points successfully, says of this body that "EAPPI participants spend only a single day in Israel out of three to four months in the region, while a preparatory two-week training programme includes just two hours on Israel. Volunteers have 'virtually no contact' with mainstream Israelis..."

How familiar does that sound? To me (even if you, dear readers, are feeling more generous), this sounds like the usual 2000 year old hate fest. Or, as the Tom Lehrer song had it, listing all the religions that hated each other, "and everyone hates the Jews!" I know, I know, I'm really too young to be so bitter and twisted. But still...It gets no better: Jon Benjamin, Chief Executive of the Board, has an article on the same page, where he notes that he attended a meeting of this organisation, purportedly an overview of the Holy Land. However "[w]hat they will instead get is a crash course in the brutality of Israelis, the suffering of the Palestinians and no context or deeper explanation of why things are as they are. The speaker is, after all, from...EAPPI, a pressure group with a particular agenda to focus on the all the perceived iniquities of Israel."

So what, you might reasonably ask, is the good news? Or is that it, and what comes next is really bad? No, I'm happy to say. On the front page of the same issue of the JC is this. And it is good news: FIFA has refused to bow to a demand by the Palestine Football body to remove the Under-21 version of the Euro-Cup from Israel, to be held next year. It was, says Michel Platini, President of FIFA, awarded to Israel in an open and democratic vote. This in response to a demand by the President of the Palestine FA to remove the competition from Israel, in effect, a demand to boycott Israel.

Read and enjoy at least the last item.

By Brian Goldfarb.

26 June 2012

Alice Walker's hidden dichotomy

Of course, Alice Walker's refusal to allow the release of a new hebrew edition of her book The Color Purple shouldn't surprise anyone. It was out of boredom that I decided to browse her official site, and found some revealing blog entries (no long quotes, sorry, the content is copyrighted).

The celebrated author lives in a fantasy land, where noble palestinian heroes bravely do nothing in face of the israeli aggression. Blooming and joyful, just waiting for the israelis to do whatever hair raising deeds they're plotting. Non-violent resistance, she calls it. Barely a month after Itamar, just a few weeks after Mary Jean Gardner was blown to pieces in a terror bombing in Jerusalem, less than two weeks after the 16 years old Daniel Viflic was killed by an anti-tank missile fired from Gaza at a yellow school bus, comes Alice Walker to assure us that palestinian resistance has nothing whatsoever to do with violence. Nope, it's all love and poppy fields.

I find it ironic that she expresses her disappointment with William Faulkner for allegedly stating that he'd shoot down niggers in the streets to show his allegiance to white southerners (she writes n___s - a bit odd for an acclaimed writer to be afraid of words). That's because the distinguished novelist herself clearly states her own allegiance to the good and worthy arab palestinians, israelis or not, seen as a total antithesis to the dreadful israeli jews. This is exactly Faulkner's dichotomy - if you're going to support one side, you have to be prepared to hurt the other side. The only difference being that Alice Walker wouldn't shoot jews in the streets. She just walks away, completely ignoring jews being shot in the streets.

20 June 2012

And now it's time for a break

Regular services will be resumed in the beginning of July. Please behave meanwhile.

19 June 2012

Julian Assange will run for a seat in the Australian Senate? No, he is just on the run

He can't hide but. The first photo of Mr Assange from above in his sanctuary was already taken by one of these newfangled nano-drones:

Run, coward, run. See how far does it get you...

18 June 2012

Soviet propaganda: leaving Dr. Goebbels in the dust - Part II

The previous post has shown that in the beginning of nineteen seventies Soviet leaders have decided to make a clean break with the Marxist-Leninist position of the internationalism, racial equality and all the related slogans and buzzwords. At least where the Jews are concerned.

It is somewhat difficult to explain to the Western mind how unique and ground-breaking was this decision. In that regime every printed word and every text transmitted via radio or read on TV was controlled, sometimes by several functionaries, and every deviation from the official party line in the media was severely punished. Control over media items prepared for external consumption was many times tougher. To imagine anyone being able to slip unapproved content of the kind described is unthinkable.

But the case of the "USSR" monthly was only a tip of the iceberg. After the Six Days War, the world became sharply divided between supporters and enemies of Israel. USSR became the chief supporter of the Arab countries, while USA, up to 1967 somewhat hesitant, came heavily on the side of Israel. The lines in the Middle Eastern sand were drawn. Immense quantities of Soviet weapons were provided to Egypt, Syria and other, less directly involved in the Israeli/Arab conflict countries. The price of the weapons was laughingly low. Thanks to the quirks of Soviet economy that allowed virtually any price to be "profitable" and to special economic arrangements that allowed Arab countries infinitely delayed credits and  a partial payment in local products, the "business" flowered. Soviet citizens remember quite well cheap Algerian wine, for instance, shipped in huge vats and dispensed under some localized brand names. Or Syrian wool and Egyptian cotton... Only a few were aware of the reasons behind appearance of the unusual merchandise on the shelves.

On the propaganda front, at least for the internal consumption, all the ways and means were declared kosher. A great selection of typical Soviet cartoons of the time is made available by Kcmeesha here. However, the line where anti-Zionism crosses into outright antisemitism was rarely overstepped, each such move obviously being allowed by a fatherly wink from above. The final elimination of that line, as you can see, happened in 1972.

17 June 2012

EPA, USDA, FDA, ATF, FBI, FEMA and CIA Predators spying on farmers

and other innocent and law-abiding citizens. The article in WaPo tries (in vain) to discredit this news. But some people know better. Here comes jon404 with a smashing statement that puts paid to the pathetic denial attempt by WaPo:

USDA has been working for years with the CIA to re-configure General Atomics Predator drones to look like civilian Cessnas, complete with inflatable 'pilots' and 'observers'. A flight of 23 remotely-controlled aircraft operates from a secret field near Gothenburg, Nebraska. Using high-bandwidth uplink technology, the drones are actually 'flown' by operators stationed at Minot AFB in North Dakota.
Yes, inflatable pilots were already tested years ago, here is the proof:

And no one can deny the Krystal Klear information about the dastardly FEMA with its underground bases setting up for martial law, its guillotines and its general dark designs for the New World Order...

The day of reckoning is nigh! Repent, you EPA, USDA, FDA, ATF, FBI, FEMA and CIA lackeys of the World Government. Lay down your laser guns, your jackboots, your black helicopters and return to the ways of Truth.

Because Truth will out.

15 June 2012

MK Anastasia Michaeli on the Gay Question

Sometimes I wonder whether there is some super-secret organization in this here neck of the woods that deals with a very special career planning. Namely that selects and promotes people that show signs of promise in politics.

If there is such outfit (must be pretty secret if even an Elder is precluded from knowing about it), I would like to know what are their guidelines re IQ of a fitting candidate.

Because you see, I am becoming more and more convinced that there is an upper limit that a candidate cannot pass. And that limit must be somewhere between the average IQ of a guard dog and the average IQ of an alley cat. Notice I am being liberal in my choice of the upper limit, since alley cat is a pretty sophisticated critter.

What was that diversion about? Oh, yeah, politicians. Speaking about which, here comes MK (Member of Knesset) Anastasia Michaeli, who already appeared twice on that blog. This time she decided to reveal her deep knowledge and understanding of psychological roots that guide our brethren to choose the alternative lifestyle. And every word she said on the subject was a revelation, I must say:

MK Michaeli (Yisrael Beitenu), who spoke during a session of the Knesset's Committee on the Status of Women, slammed Channel 10 for featuring programs that show "how nice it is to be gay," and added: "They are miserable, these homosexuals… Eventually they commit suicide at the age of 40."

The rightist lawmaker questioned Channel 10's "right to air such programs - which my children (could be watching). How fun it is to put on make-up and wear skirts. These are the same people who want to be women.

"In these shows the homosexual's mother is interviewed and says how miserable she is and that she is divorced from her husband. I want to ask what the (homosexual) went through when he was three years old and why (the parents) are divorced," she told the committee.

"I think most homosexuals are people who experienced sexual abuse at a very young age, and things deteriorated from there," the MK said.
Abuse at a very young age... well, there are different kinds of abuse, I have to add. Like being repeatedly dropped on one's head as a baby. Or summat.

Nothing more in the way of comments, really.

Update: the Internet against MK Michaeli. Of course, the responses are coming. Here are a few from this Ynet selection:

"Congratulations, you homo, you are 40!" this one says.

- Mom, did you know that every tenth person is gay?
- We'll send the next one for adoption.

(Actually Michaeli has 8 kids by now, which make the family 10 strong and must  already be a problem for her).

The Council Has Spoken!

Council Winners

Non-Council Winners

No, really, Jews, you have to relax re the Swedish twitteress Sonja Abrahamsson

Er... sorry, I meant tweeteress. Of course. I have even wanted to write a long post on the subject: namely, why Ynet, Haaretz, JP, TTOI, and even Commentary-Contentions got their undies twisted about that blonde who, if you look carefully at her tweets, is a bit lost and a bit slow. But Paul Widen, writing in the above mentioned TTOI blog, just made that effort unnecessary, putting up a piece The fuzz with Jews (I'm still not sure it rhymes, by the way, but let's not nitpick). He got it all. Read it.

The lady herself confessed to being a) somewhat undereducated and b) ignorant about them Jooz. And the tweets she sent are the best evidence to the truthfulness of these two statements. So now, you people*, chill. The weather is not too hot yet, and one can cool down just sitting in his favorite chair outside and breathing slowly and shallowly. But only in the evening, of course.

Oh, and I have just rescinded that Mossad hit squad visit to Sweden. Relax you too, folks.

So I am off, but not before mentioning one item of advice Paul W. carefully avoided. Re identification of people's nationality by their penises: Ms Abrahamsson should just... well, how to put it gently... she should get out more, that's all.

Yeah... groovy...

(*) The expression "you people" in the context of this text doesn't mean or imply or otherwise hint upon any racist, sexist, ageist or any other "..ist" content of any kind. So there.

Hat tip: Francis Sedgemore.

14 June 2012

Canadian Broadcast Standards Council vs Ezra Levant

Or is it the other way around? Anyway, Ezra Levant in a smashing broadside that simply must be watched here. No matter whether you agree or disagree with general drift of Mr Levant, we all should cheer for him in this case of medieval, monumental and malicious stupidity.

And meanwhile in the forests of Maine... update.

Andrew Ian Dodge, who has left the GOP scene to run as a Libertarian candidate for Senate, interviewed by Bob Zadek.

In this episode, Bob welcomes Andrew Ian Dodge to his show. Andrew is seeking to win Olympia Snowe’s US Senate seat in Maine. He is running as a Libertarian and he has an excellent chance; given Maine’s demographics and its huge independent voting block. Traditionally, Independent voters have a higher propensity to vote Libertarian. A Libertarian in the Senate – how cool would that be! His background is perfect for the position and he would be an ideal citizen legislator. He’s a candidate like no other and you’ll enjoy getting to know him on our show. Don’t miss it.
Go there and listen. And more power to Andrew!

And what happens meanwhile in the political forests of Maine GOP? Since the incumbent, Sen. Olympia Snowe suddenly decided to quit, the shock caused the forests to freeze for a while, and it looked like in absence of other competitors, Scott D'Amboise (already mentioned here not quite kindly) will take the GOP nomination walking. The list of the candidates doesn't look all that impressive.

However, there are some stumbling and heavy lifting to be done by Mr D'Amboise on the way to coveted GOP nomination. To start with, he is very fast when drawing his heavy political weaponry, as the last year case shows only too well.
D'Amboise revealed his true colors May 10 when he issued a news release demanding that Snowe resign her Senate seat and accusing her husband, former Gov. John McKernan, of financial wrongdoing without a shred of evidence and without coming within a country mile of anything resembling a fact.
Well, a sordid story of a person craving to gather some points by unjustly smearing his opposition.

However, deeds of this kind usually backfire, and backfire this clumsy attempt did. With vengeance:

Is Scott D'Amboise Embezzling Campaign Money?

I wouldn't quote extensively from that one, so sordid it is. Kinda financial porn, I would say, so read it for yourself. Only one short quote:
It is unbelievable the shit that many of these candidates say or do to get elected. But, the truth is that many campaign for access to the cash.
Yeah, so, as I've mentioned, the misdeed has backfired - at the right target, I would say.

As for smearing his opposition: it's not only the embezzlement rumors that were used by Mr D'Amboise and his (too eager) supporters. Take a look again at the way his cohorts declare D'Amboise's opponent (then Andrew Ian Dodge) to be (simultaneously): Libertarian, Libertine, a closet Marxist-Leninist, non-citizen, Wiccan warlock, sexual deviant (besides working for the world government) and a devil worshiper to boot. Like with the accusation of Ms Snowe - not because any of this BS is true, but because the opponent is there, and to the devil with the details.

But, as the embezzlement story shows: the devil is in the details.

Update: Too bad, Mr D'Amboise.

Celebrate National Jerky Day!

In this way too:

Details here, and as gnotalex asked: please no obvious beef jokes. It's a day to chew solemnly.

"Apple Applies for '.apple'" rumors apparently untrue

Some reporters wouldn't know a real scoop if it bit their retina display in half. Check this:

Apple is included in the list, having paid the $185,000 application fee to request the ".apple" suffix, although it is unclear whether Apple plans to make high-profile use of the new suffix or if its application is primarily for defensive purposes to prevent another company from taking it.

Apple doesn't care for a mere ".apple", dear AP. As our agents report from inside the belly of the beast, Apple is going for the whole enchilada, meaning all words, prefixes and suffixes starting with "app". 

Appalachian apparatchiks: appellations are not appreciated.

No dice. So eat your apples while still possible.

13 June 2012

Simply Che

Well, Cho in this case.

And some additional reading material on the subject.

Republicans vs Democrats: one for each side

Don't you say I am not fair and balanced. So here you go:

12 June 2012

Soviet propaganda: leaving Dr. Goebbels in the dust - Part I

It was a difficult time in USSR, the beginning of nineteen seventies. The Vietnam war was still raging, the Cold War was at its strongest, eating away at Soviet economy and forcing the Central Committee of the Party to look for any excuse to draw attention of the Soviet citizenry from the steadily lowering quality of life and steadily growing queues in the food shops.

It was only too easy to discover a welcome distraction. It was provided by the Soviet Jewry that at this time started to find the way out. The good old "Let my people go!" got a new geographic coordinates and, the fearsome might of the KGB and emigration authorities (see under "KGB") notwithstanding, the slow trickle of the lucky few who escaped using relatives in places like Poland, become a quite strong flow, supported by growing international pressure. Politicians in US, such as Senator Henry "Scoop" Jackson (whose efforts culminated later in the Jackson–Vanik amendment) have done their considerable best to put the Jewish emigration issue on the agenda and to keep it there. Toward 1973 several tens of thousands of Soviet Jews emigrated, many of them to Israel. The number of people who were refused the permit to emigrate, mostly under pretext of possible damage to Soviet security, was growing quickly too, causing a rise in the dissident movement and related international notoriety - the thing most feared and hated by the Soviet leaders. Dissidents were arrested and incarcerated under various pretexts, such as "hooliganism", "parasitic way of life", "leaking of state secrets" etc. The linked here Chronology of events of the Zionist movement in the Soviet Union (just for year 1973) shows a little bit of the whole story.

11 June 2012

Sara: a clear and present danger to the national security of the state of Israel?

Then there’s the last person Bibi sees every night: Sara. Seconds into any conversation about Netanyahu, the subject of Sara, whom he married in 1991, invariably comes up. It’s amazing how many otherwise sane Israelis see her Lady Macbeth–like hand in every corner of her husband’s life and work—whom he hires, what he does and doesn’t do, whom he can and cannot see. One hears constantly that Sara “has something” on her husband, stemming from her decision to stick by him after the highly publicized affair to which he admitted early in their marriage when his political career hung in the balance. One also hears of a supposed contract between the two of them, said to have been drafted by a former attorney general of Israel, squirreled away in some safe. Or of Bibi cowering in the bathroom, calling the childhood friends of his whom she has excommunicated.
I am not sure that the situation is all that different from that of the other married politicians or, for that matter, of the other married men.

But I am going to the bathroom to call Vanity Fair anyway.

Yep, they know how to treat vampires in Bulgaria

Now it's a scientific fact:

Archaeologists in Bulgaria say they've found two medieval skeletons pierced through the chest with iron rods intended to stop them from turning into vampires.

The discovery highlights a pagan practice common in some villages until a century ago, historians said, where people considered evil had their hearts impaled after death for fear they would return to feast on human blood.
The whys of the matter are simple:
People believed the rod would pin the dead into their graves to prevent them from rising at midnight and terrorizing the living...
And before you look down at the practice and start yakking about superstition, consider the proven scientifically fact that the remedy worked: no one of the suspects rose at midnight.

So there.

10 June 2012

A headline to end all headlines

Fox News front page:

I think that usually a bullet in the head works quite well...

Thy neighbor's goat...

Actually the story is educational, in parts. Thanks to it, I have learned a bit about bath salts. Brr... the sophisticated ways of killing self some people choose... But back to the story:

...a West Virginia man killed his neighbor’s pet goat while he was high on bath salts. What makes this even more absurd? When police came to find him they found him in women’s underwear in the same room as the dead animal.
Now, looking at the perpetrator, I believe that the suffering the poor goat experienced before its untimely death was not only physical:

Poor goat, in short. Now I've tried to check which commandments the perp has broken in this story. Or, rather, which ones he didn't. Ehehe... tough business that. Was there anything about the neighbor's goat?

Oh yes, and much more besides.

09 June 2012

The most equal between the equals, of course

I would usually (can't say "normally" in the circumstances) bow to Norm's opinion on most things in the universe. But in the situation Norm describes in this post, I have one small advantage*, being a graduate (survivor/escapee/you name it) of too many years of the communist paradise. And believe you me - no surprise at all here. Just a slightly queasy sense of déjà vu.

What it reminds me too - this short exchange between Jesus and Pontius Pilate from Bulgakov's Master and Margarita:

—И настанет царство истины?
—Настанет, игемон, — убежденно ответил Иешуа.
—Оно никогда не настанет! — вдруг закричал Пилат таким страшным голосом, что Иешуа отшатнулся.
Or, in my slavish translation to English:
—And the kingdom of truth shall come to be?
—It shall, Prefect, — confidently answered Jesus.
—It shall never come! - suddenly screamed Pilate in a voice so frightening that Jesus recoiled.
Guess who... oh well, it's just too bad.

(*) Of course, as millions of other people, so it's a small advantage indeed.

P.S. I've just read the second post by Norm on the subject. Not much has changed, but I sure would like to see the original paper on that experiment. Because otherwise, as Norm mentions, it remains an anecdote. Which fact is rather less important than the real subject of my post.

P.P.S. Got to the document here. It is not an anecdote, not anymore, an in some details even more interesting than described. Lewis was quite wrong in his description. Oh boy... it's a mess now. I will get it in the neck for sure, but the truth will out anyway, so:
Oh, in short:
  • Powerless and empowered men ate more or less the same quantity of cookies. The powerless ones even consumed a bit more.
  • Empowered women ate almost twice as much cookies as powerless ones.
Well, it opens a new can of worms, but what can I do?

But there is more interesting info in that article.

Unit 8200, whiz kids and UPI

The article Unit 8200 and Israel's high-tech whiz kids about some successful high-tech endeavors by the graduates of the Israeli intelligence outfit doesn't carry any information beyond what was already published in many other similar articles. Aside of trying to link that unit with Flame virus, which is a relatively new phenomenon.

What drew my attention was the picture used by UPI to illustrate that article:

The current version of the photo's capture says "An Israeli soldier walks in front of humanitarian aid at the Zrifin Military Base in Rishon le-Zion." The file name of the photograph is "Unit-8200-and-Israels-high-tech-whiz-kids".  The previous version of the capture, later modified - before I could make a snapshot - said that the humanitarian aid was confiscated from one of the Gazan "flotillas".

In any case, seeing as how Zrifin Military Base doesn't have anything to do with the unit described in the article, nor obviously does the soldier in the picture (unless his use of a cell phone somehow makes him an accomplice), I can hardly see the relevance of that picture.

So I would offer a more attractive replacement, also irrelevant to the subject of that article, but at least pleasant to the eye. Here:

The capture to this one says: "Actress Emma Stone arrives at the MTV Movie Awards at the Gibson Amphitheatre in Universal City, California on June 3, 2012.

Ain't it more cool? And no need to change the text in the future because of pissed off readers, methinks.

How To Tell If Someone Is A Paultard (A Ron Paul Supporter)

Repeat with her. Cause it bears repeating.

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi nude uncensored pictures

Are of a very slight, not to say non-existent interest to this blog. So you get to see, as a compensation, another woodpecker picture. But it's a Syrian woodpecker, so hopefully it's a good enough consolation.

So there. Look at the picture for about 1 minute, breath shallowly and it (your anxiety) will pass.

08 June 2012

Amira Hass scores a hat trick

And all she has done was playing according to her employer's rules. First of all, the article as it appears in the front page of Ha'aretz:

Wow, you say, wow, after reading the headline: using Palestinians as dog fodder? Are we some kind of Nazis, indeed? First goal for Amira - and the online editor.

OK, then you read the lede. Hm... so, the soldiers weren't, strictly speaking, using the Palestinians. Well, small consolation, after all they were confiscating private vehicles at will... not very nice, you would agree. Second goal for Amira.

Properly wound up, you open the link to the full article. And you see another lede there (click to read the text):
So the soldiers weren't really confiscating the vehicles. But still, using someone else's vehicle for training purposes is a somewhat non-orthodox approach. Hat trick completed, Amira!

Well, read the whole article.You may find a few more goals there if you make an effort. I couldn't due to some queasiness.

Oh, and here is Amira Hass:

She is, probably, full of more crap than that one article. After all, she churns them almost daily.

And I don't have a dog. My cats died. And I can't train our roaches to attack somebody. But in any case I wouldn't sic a roach at Amira. Roaches are that sensitive.

Hat trick: for football-ignorant - means three goals in a game.

The Council Has Spoken!

Council Winners

Non-Council Winners

07 June 2012

UFO over Israel. Or, at least, in the general area.

This is what Ynet reports:

Politicians on Syrian massacres: who is being crafty and who is being woozy?

These two news items show the answer to that question:

U.S. backs Chapter VII resolution for Syria

The U.S. treasury secretary said Washington was considering a Chapter VII resolution at the U.N. Security Council, which authorizes the use of force in Syria.
Nice show that, especially when everyone knows that such a resolution doesn't stand a chance to pass through Russia and China in UNSC.

Annan: Iran could help remove Assad
Iran and other nations could create plan to ease Syrian President Bashar Assad from power, special envoy Kofi Annan was to tell U.N. Security Council Thursday.
For a man who travels a lot, Mr Anan has a great and steady provider for whatever shit he smokes (or sniffs or...). But then, traveling a lot he knows a lot of people, so why I am not surprised?

Abu Yahya al-Libi - another #2 RIP, and Peter Oborne's ruminations

Rest In Pieces, it means in this case. That martyrs' paradise has accumulated a sizable unit of #2s by now. Anyway, nothing but good about the dead, so the old formula alone will serve: is Abu Yahya al-Libi dead? Good.

06 June 2012

Ray Bradbury RIP

The man who, I thought, will live forever, because he deserved to (not very sensible, I know).

There are many writers who brought delight to my life, but only a few names that made my heart beat with so much happiness at the sight of a new book on the library shelf. And his name was one of the few.

Rest in peace, descendant of a witch. See you later.

Separated at birth?


More details.

Over to Israellycool (but he probably already has it somewhere)

05 June 2012

Jams did it for me, and I shall meet him in Gitmo

Since reading the post Department of Homeland Stupidity by Dick Stanley aka Texas Scribbler, I have been fighting an uphill battle against my laziness. To get the necessary search words from the original document seemed to be an insurmountable task. But now that Jams has done it, I can just copy/paste from him. Even if it makes him unhappy, Gitmo inmates have very limited access to lawyers. So here it goes:

It could be described as character assassination, the unprovoked attack on Arthur Scarrot,  the man responsible for  domestic security arrangements for the village of Drill.

"The papers claim I take no exercise and call the cops for assistance in dealing with the slightest law enforcement problem. This is plainly untrue and I have in place an arrangement with the proper authorities for all matters right up to Disaster Management and Disaster Assistance. I have a group of part time and volunteer DNDOs (Domestic Neighbourhood Disturbance Officers) working for me.Each of these is trained to the national preparedness standardand is fully able to handle virtually any eventuality be it the prevention or response to crime and the recovery of stolen goods. In mitigation though I would not expect them to deal with a Dirty Bomb or conduct Domestic nuclear detection - although several homes have been issued with Geiger counters.

"Myself and my team are the first responders to any incident in the village and thus are responsible for emergency response and emergency management You could call my team a mini Department of Homeland Security! Since we are on the coast we have undertaken course in Maritime Domain Awareness, but the only call that has been made on us in this area was a suspicious looking dinghy. Still we are a small but iportant part of the national preparedness initiative even if organised crime, riots, looting, gangs militias, shootings  -the only shots fired and explosions are caused are by the Anglo Zanzibar war Recreationists are rarer than hen's teeth!

"We also have a Taliban Hostage Recreations Society. They are weird but harmless. Every year they kidnap a number of prominent local citizens and hold them in the local pub issuing a threat that if their ransom are not paid they will be force fed pork scratchings. Meanwhile my men and women dress as a police SWAT team and lockdown the neighbouring area. Amid the explosion of  pipe bombs the "police" team makes a breach in the hostage takers' security, screening the hostages from the takers, and then undertaking an evacuation. There have never been any deaths among participants although our volunteer Disaster Medical Assistance Team remains on standby. It's a great way to test national security on a local basis without declaring a state of emergency!

I shall wait for whatever happens next: either Jams transcribes the next page of the source or gets to fly to Gitmo courtesy of CIA.

Oh, and you are welcome to copy this stuff. We'll meet over there, you know what I mean...

'Kill potentially harmful kids before they can walk,' Turkish principal says

When a school principal talks in public:

A Turkish school principal has suggested that all newborns should be genetically scanned and that those who could prove harmful to the country should be “eliminated.”

"Children should be analyzed immediately after birth. If they are to become harmful to this country, to this nation, then they should be eliminated before they can walk," Dumlupınar Elementary School Principal Mustafa Aydın said yesterday during a meeting organized by the police department in the eastern province of Erzurum. The meeting's topic was violence among children and ways to prevent it.
Methinks there already is an absolutely certain candidate for that measure. No genetic scans required.

Better late than never...

Giant squid, platypus, ghost, kraken, Gwyneth Paltrow, Prometheus trailer?

Strangely, Google decided that all these search words are somehow related. What does the giant squid aka kraken have to do with Gwyneth Paltrow? Unless she was photographed in a wet t-shirt...

04 June 2012

Jerusalem apartment housing African migrants goes up in flames; police suspect arson

Makes you happy, MK Miri Regev? Because they are a cancer in our body, aren't they?

Jesus tries to give Texan homeowners a housekeeping advice via bathroom mold

Apparently he tries to send the owners there for an advice. However, the signal is misinterpreted.


In related news: Happy Meal Toy "Insults Mohammed"- Saudis Demand McDonald's Be Punished

Pot-smoking US mom drives off with baby on roof

An almost mundane story:

A marijuana-smoking woman was arrested on Saturday in Phoenix after she accidentally drove away with her five-week-old son in a child safety seat on the roof of her vehicle, police said. The baby fell off the car in the middle of an intersection and was found unharmed and strapped into the seat, said Phoenix police spokesman James Holmes.
Yes, quite mundane, but there is a vitally important lesson in it for every young mom: always keep that baby of yours, that apple of your eye in a child safety seat!

03 June 2012

North Korea: where cruelty to animals is the name of the game

And Where no one knows Jacko's dead.

I don't know whether Sun existed in 1930-eths. They probably complained about dreadful design of Mussolini's uniform and Hitler's mustache.

American elections: it is fun, I say!

I hope you heed my advice re being prepared for the watching duties. Here we go again:

02 June 2012

Ali Larijani threatens Israel, lost in translation again

Speak about coincidences. Here I penned a short post hailing a new discovery in biology of political bodies by one and only Juan Cole, and now we have another situation where his considerable talents are the only means available to save us from total despair.

It started with Ali Larijani, the Hon speaker of Iranian Parliament, explaining to the world at large what will happen if anybody* intervenes in the ongoing unpleasantness in Syria. The microphone has barely left his able hand, and here we have three vastly different interpretations of his main point. First of all, the Haaretz' version:

In what seemed to be an explicit threat against the consequences military action could have on Israel, Larijani said that violence form a Syrian version of Benghazi "will spread into Palestine and the ashes of such flame will definitely bury the Zionist regime."
Well, any naive reader may consider the statement clear and unequivocal. But wait, here comes Ynet (Yediot Ahronot):
"US military officials probably have a poor understanding of themselves and regional issues because Syria is in no way similar to Libya, and (the effects of) creating another Benghazi in Syria would spread to Palestine, and ash rising from the flames would definitely envelop the Zionist regime,” Larijani was quoted by the Tehran Times as saying during a speech in parliament.
And then  Times of Israel joins the fray, muddying the issue even more:
Iran’s parliamentary speaker threatened that fallout from a Syria war would engulf Israel.
So what will it be, I barely dare to ask Juan Cole, our luminary: bury, envelop or engulf**? I hope that he will solve the issue exactly as few years ago, when he brilliantly interpreted Mahmoud the Mad for all of us unwashed heathens (unlike, for example, this uncouth Iranian general who until now didn't read prof Cole's explanation***).

I know that I am demanding a lot from this tired, but still magnificent brain and hope that he will rise to the occasion to demonstrate again this penetrating wisdom.

And notice that I don't even for a moment dare to ask a related question: how come the Iranians seem hell bent to involve Israel**** in a conflict no one in Israel seems to want to mess with - aside of very understated hints on a somewhat unbridled way Baby Assad has of killing his own people. No sir/madam, I am sure that prof Cole could dispense with that question as easy as swatting a fly. He knows that what Ayatollahs want is right, and so should you.

(*) Anybody but Iran, of course.

(**) I was mulling a bit on the three options and now I don't know myself which one I personally prefer. There is a slight edge to engulfing, but I am not sure yet.

(***) The general, in fact, says "...that the Iranian nation will remain committed to the full annihilation of the Zionist regime of Israel to the end." But it is obvious that he means it in some non-physical way. Something spiritual.  Capisce?

(****) Sorry, as prof Cole explained again and again, they don't use the hated word. They call it "Zionist regime" or "Zionist entity".

Other prophets

I am not sure I fully agree with Mo's sentiments: religion is a pretty humorless business in general. But there is a good deal of truth in the cartoon, nevertheless.


01 June 2012

Mel Brooks was right all this time: Native Americans are Jewish!

Don't say you were not warned:

A population of Native American Indians from the US state of Colorado has been found to have a genetic mutation typical of Ashkenazi Jews. The finding suggests the presence of common roots that date back to the days of Christopher Columbus.

According to RT news, the so-called “Ashkenazi mutation” is a deleterious modification in BRCA1 gene which increases risk of developing breast and ovarian cancer. Researchers from the Sheba (Tel Hashomer) Medical Center in Israel found it in the DNA of descendants of those Indians who moved from Mexico to Colorado some 200 years ago.
So there:

The Council Has Spoken!

Council Winners

... and then you die

The logic of the event is inescapable:

A "serpent-handling" West Virginia pastor died after his rattlesnake bit him during a church ritual, just as the man had apparently watched a snake kill his father years before.
And it (the event) has developed in an expected way:
Robin Vanover, Wolford's sister, told the Washington Post that 30 minutes into the outdoor service, Wolford passed around a poisonous timber rattlesnake, which eventually bit him. "He laid it on the ground," Vanover said in the interview, "and he sat down next to the snake, and it bit him on the thigh."
As the good pastor himself used to say:
"Anybody can do it that believes it," Wolford said. "Jesus said, 'These signs shall follow them which believe.' This is a sign to show people that God has the power."
I wouldn't argue with that, although I have to say that the deity obviously has the power to command that snake to bite one on one's arse. And what can one learn from the story?

Snakes bite.

A reminder to U.S. Congressman Dennis Kucinich

Repeat with me.