30 April 2012

Guardian ‘Style Guide’ - there is such an animal indeed!

Believe it or not: Guardianistas really have a... to use North Korean terminology, a shining all embracing dictionary that provides undying field guidance (please, Yitzchak, do correct this poor example as you see fit, and I shall use the correction as it is) to anyone who dares to submit his/her text to The Guardian. And it is even viewable by mere mortals.

CiF Watch folks have done a job of reviewing it.

Simply Che

Number ten in the collection.

Not funny. But true.

29 April 2012

Wazzamatter, Bibi/Ehud?

One ex-chief of Israel Security Agency, Yuval Diskin, joined the club of anti-Bibi/Barak speakers. Nothing new in our barely churning, but mostly stagnant political puddle. What he said is extensively quoted in this JP article, but could be roughly derived from this quote:

My main problem on this issue is that I don’t have faith in the current leadership of the State of Israel that has to lead us to an event as big as a war with Iran or a regional war. I might be saying very difficult things. I don’t believe in the prime minister or the defense minister. I really don’t believe in a leadership that makes decisions out of messianic feelings.
Now I am not going into rights or wrongs of his opinion on Iran, this is not the subject of that post. The interesting part of the story is the response, obviously partly inspired by the offices of the two gentlemen Diskin describes so uncharitably. In addition to the linked above set of responses, I have got an earful of them on the radio this morning, and some of them are really mindboggling.

At least two of the VIP interviewed on the subject stated that Mr Diskin, due to sensitivity of his previously held post, cannot comment on personal traits of his superiors.

Meaning that there is possibly a security breach in Diskin saying that he doesn't believe in Bibi and Ehud. Like in "disclosure of a state secret"? Hm...

I vividly recollect an old Soviet-times joke about a man who was sent to jail for shouting on the streets "Brezhnev is an idiot". The verdict (but of course) was... see above.

Now, if I had a shekel to invest for future profit, I really wouldn't let Bibi, Ehud or both hold it for me, such is my regard for their general integrity. But is it a state secret?

Hope for Darfur

Learn more about the painful subject and donate, if you can, here.

Thanks to David All for the information.

A boost to Zionist confidence

The unbelievable exchange between an Al Jazeera reporter (on the left) and a Lebanese pro-Syrian journo settles the issue of Zionist Entity and its neighbors. As long as our neighbors need us so much as a most hated target in the world, we can rest easy.

Watch how AJ reporter loses patience with Lebanese journalist when the latter tries to use the Palestinians to avoid talking about the Syrian massacres.

The clip doesn't allow rescaling in some browsers, so for better watching go there.

Dentist Anna Mackowiak pulls out all the teeth of her ex-BF Marek Olszewski

Details are all here, so I can add only one or two remarks:

  • Scorned is scorned, and I really cannot understand that Marek fellow taking his dental issues to his ex.
  • And why didn't he detect that he is going to be put to sleep?
  • Probably Marek is just a cheapo and hoped for a discount.
  • The paper says that "Mackowiak is being investigated for medical malpractice and abusing the trust of a patient". I don't know from malpractice, IMHO all dentistry... but it's another issue. Anyway, she didn't abuse the trust - the man is a cheapo and not a clever one, it looks like. He kinda asked for it.
  • Still, I feel for him a bit, no matter what.
So, to distract myself and my readers, I offer a soothing picture of an insect:

If you can define it, please feel free to leave its moniker in the comments. Thanks.

28 April 2012

Frozen beef reserves to be dynamited?

The news is somewhat disturbing:

Federal forest officials want visitors of a Colorado hot springs to be very careful about what's lurking inside a remote cabin nearby: Frozen cows. Rangers believe the cows wandered into the cabin near the popular Conundrum Hot Springs during a snowstorm but couldn't find their way out. Air Force Academy cadets found their frozen carcasses while snowshoeing in late March.
What, in your opinion, would be the first thought of a warm-blooded reader? Steaks, of course. But the Rangers think in other terms:
Rangers want the carcasses gone before they thaw. Removal options include explosives or burning down the cabin.
Blowing up tons of perfectly good beef? Not only it is a waste, but it will probably become a disaster on the scale of the famous and hilarious Oregon Whale Explosion:

Oh well...

No sweeter words...

The guy of Lee acting just like a puppy knowing no fear of a tiger is a half-wit and as disgusting as a rat, the officer noted.
More of it here.

27 April 2012

The Council Has Spoken!

Council Winners

Non-Council Winners

Cheap wisecracks - thanks to UPI

The collection below comes from one UPI front page - of April 23, 2012.

No wonder the man looks somewhat deflated in this picture.

Hm... it's certainly a fresh angle on the Holocaust: as a challenge...

And that via Twitter? Now we have to take it seriously, folks.

Not only was that baby born in a miracle kingdom of Floirida...

Could we, please, have a list of all the places they are not marrying in? One cannot stand the suspense.

They were told thrice not to make Lieberman angry (see above).

Yeah. I heard were it gets overcrowded in Vatican, especially in the summer...

The last one requires an explanation: a link and a quote:
Police in Wisconsin said an unusually named man, Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop, was arrested on charges including a probation violation.
I read the article at this link twice and looked at the picture of the suspect:

Now I can state with a high level of confidence that the last Bop in his name doesn't fit. So there.

Surely that's not what they me

Ynet. Hm...

26 April 2012

A totally non-urgent response

To: The Guardian's corrections and clarifications column editor, the correction writer, the editors, subeditors, proofreaders, lawyers, geography and realpolitik experts and other geniuses, fuckwits and assorted wankers who participated in preparation of a correction that states:

The caption on a photograph featuring passengers on a tram in Jerusalem observing a two-minute silence for Yom HaShoah, a day of remembrance for the 6 million Jews who died in the Holocaust, wrongly referred to the city as the Israeli capital. The Guardian style guide states: "Jerusalem is not the capital of Israel; Tel Aviv is" (Eyewitness, 20 April, page 24).
Dear Sir/Madam/Other,

By the authority vested in our hands as members of the Elders' organization (organisation for you) we are empowered to educate you, in lieu of several facts that you may have been ignorant of, while excreting the correction quoted above:
  1. It is year 2012 out on the street, even in Kings Place, 90 York Way, London.
  2. The days of that empire of discoverers, warriors, conquerors and partly inbred officials that ruled the various colonies of the Empire on which the sun never sets are gone. The Union Jack is by now a tattered piece of double dip recession cloth that doesn't even merit a second glance. One thing we could thank the Empire for is that it seriously (and on purpose) fucked up the division of the world it ruled, leaving us all with a big headache. (But it made the continued existence of the Elders' outfit justified for years to come, so in a way we should be grateful. Which we are not.)
  3. As such, not a single person in the state of Israel is going to change his opinion on the question of  the Israeli capital, just because of a somewhat pompous, asinine notice that refers the decision on the said capital not even to The Guardian's high and mighty but to some, hitherto unknown nepotist pudendum entity called "The Guardian style guide". 
  4. There is no need for an entry visa into Israel for the citizens of UK. As such, you are free to visit and to roam the streets of Tel Aviv in search for our Knesset, our Government and our Supreme Court, stopping from time to time for an espresso (devilishly expensive, mind), a meal (doubly expensive too) and a hard earned rest. Tell us about the results.
  5. Oh, and Franco, Pol Pot, Hitler, Mao and Stalin - they are all dead. Doesn't mean you should relax your usual vigilance, but still - do mind your own capital - Red Ken is getting close...
Irrespectfully and non-urgently, (up) yours.

Our brothers Our home

A tribute to IDF and the kids out there in the field.

25 April 2012

Watcher’s Council Nominations – Earth Day Edition

Welcome to the Watcher’s Council, a blogging group consisting of some of the most incisive blogs in the ‘sphere, and the longest running group of its kind in existence. Every week, the members nominate two posts each, one written by themselves and one written by someone from outside the group for consideration by the whole Council.Then we vote on the best two posts, with the results appearing on Friday.

Holy Gaea! Another Earth Day has come and gone. This cartoon (merci pour le lagniappe, Gerard) makes the salient point that the entire global warming,Gaea worshiping nonsense is merely the Left’s version of the worst excesses of the Catholic Church in the Middle Ages – with the antics of Pope Gore and today’s scams like carbon trading and Solyndra in place of the sale of indulgences, benefices and paid for dispensations for the well heeled making it a perfect parallel.

Talk to any of these True Believers and disagree with what amounts to their religion and many of them would happily burn you at the stake as a heretic in a nanosecond if they weren’t worried about increasing their personal carbon footprints! Besides, it’s a lot more lucrative for them to simply tax you into oblivion and use the money for their much more deserving selves and their personal pet projects.

On another subject, this week’s contest is dedicated to Levon, who just made the passage. Rest in peace, dear soul.

24 April 2012

There are judges in Jerusalem

Yes, that's still correct. The question is not whether there are judges but what is being done lately to take the sting out of their powers over some unruly legislators. Some short time ago I have posted a lengthy discourse on the issue of Supreme Court and the incessant attempts of our intemperate legislative arm, the Knesset, in two directions: to pass some exceptionally asinine bills and to ensure that the Supreme Court doesn't interfere with this activity.

Some time passed since and some changes occurred in the make-up of the Supreme Court. To immense satisfaction of more unbridled MKs, their nemesis, Judge Dorit Beinisch, the president of the Supreme Court, was replaced by a conservative Asher Grunis. Several other judges of a more conservative outlook were added to the team.

The changes should have made our MKs happy and content - but apparently it's not enough for many of them. Supported as they are by the minister of justice Yaakov Neeman, the Knesset is busily digging under a main foundation of the Supreme Court powers - the power to strike down laws, freshly passed by the Knesset, by declaring them unconstitutional*. While the Supreme Court very rarely uses this power, I hope I don't have to explain that it is vital for protecting the nation from its elected legislative branch. And, of course, this power is the mainstay of the Supreme Court independence from the executive and legislative branches, which independence is - you would agree - a guarantee of keeping the hard earned freedoms intact from some too frisky operators in the Knesset and/or government.

The idea, nurtured by Yaakov Neeman and his supporters in Knesset, is not exactly new. The previous version of the proposed law, that would allow Knesset to overturn the Supreme Court decision and to revive the stricken down bill, demanded 70 MKs votes for such revival. In the new version, proposed by Mr Neeman, this number is reduced to 65. Which, in effect, means that a controversial law, passed  by the current coalition, will be promptly restored to life by same coalition, should such law be red-lighted by the Supreme Court. Effectively neutering the said Supreme Court.

And behold the surprise: the conservative Chief Justice, Asher Grunis, is unhappy with the idea:

The proposed bill in its present format, said Grunis, was very problematic and required in-depth discussion between all the relevant parties. He warned that passage of the bill with its current wording would be constitutionally damaging and would cause “weeping for generations to come.”
If your require a translation of this quote from legalese, you can write to me off-line or imagine a brawl in a seaport pub... whatever. In fact, looking at the shenanigans of our esteemed MKs (see, for example, some references to Danny Danon in that previous post), it looks like the weeping could start earlier that hon. Judge predicts.

What can I add to this? Just a side observation: MK Tzipi Hotovely, a female and, if humanly possibly, even more verbose version of MK Danny Danon, laments in her article:
It is the duty of each side to express opposition to moves it does not approve of. But to defame and incite the Knesset – that is no one's right. Menachem Begin once declared: "There are judges in Jerusalem." Jerusalem – may I remind you – also has legislators.
Don't we know it, dear Tzipi, don't we know it...and don't we sometimes wish that... oh well.

(*) To avoid nitpicking: there is no constitution in Israel, like in some other democracies, and the term "unconstititional" here means contradicting the basic laws of the state.

23 April 2012

Hack Israeli sites, die young

Sounds like a simple advice, doesn't it? At least in the case of one Saudi hacker:

A Saudi hacker who targeted Jewish and Israeli websites passed away from an asthma attack at the young age of 28, the UAE's Al-Bayan reported Saturday.
Asthma, shmasthma - and how about that:
...Israeli Deputy Foreign Minister Danny Ayalon described the cyber attacks as terrorism and warned that Israel would "retaliate forcefully".
Danny Ayalon say - Danny Ayalon do...

Who loves me more?

Every time I enter that Facebook page (I had the misfortune to register some time ago), I encounter these two ads, sometimes glued together, like below, sometimes separated by other similar examples of marketing prowess:

The first ad asks me whether I am over 45 yrs old and need complex dental treatment (yes and yes) and, since I am thus twice lucky, promises me implants and recovery treatment done in one day and without pain.

The second one... well, I believe you've already guessed, and you are wrong, of course. It doesn't promise anything (for a change): it stresses the fact that Facebook is the tool that connects him and me (not yet, thankfully) and then, somewhat illogically, offers me to join the 206,000 friends of the guy's Facebook page.

Which offer should I take, having in mind that I disbelieve both more or less equally?

I report, you decide...

22 April 2012

A offer of relief to San Franciscans

On a normal day I wouldn't do it, but this news was too touching:

Heartbroken customers lined up for meal at a closing San Francisco institution - a 100-year-old Chinese restaurant once known for having "the world's rudest waiter." Diners of decades past say he would verbally abuse patrons, slam down dishes, and chastise complainers.
Of course, we are not going to open a replacement Chinese eatery with rude personnel in San Francisco, but what we offer is the next best thing: send us your picture, name and birthday and we'll address at you several choice expletives - and do it for all to see, via this blog. It is a free personalized service for now, so hurry. The more adventurous of you could send us a picture with your mom, dad or both. Or even with your beloved pet.

The e-mail address is under "Contact us", you morons!

Algorithm for the verkrappt or Norm does some programming!

As an ex-programmer of too many years to count (and a good one as they said), I have checked the algorithm and am able to vouch for its completeness and correctness.

With a technical remark: according to the rules of structured programming, goto statement is a big no-no, but for such a short program it could be overlooked.

Good job, too.

From Russia with a... ?

The vest carries a logo "Clean City Plus". Probably we are watching that plus part in action.

The offer says "Buy a cucumber and milk, get toilet paper roll free (1 kopek)". Somehow I always knew that consuming cucumbers with milk will soon cause an urgent need of that third item...

From here.

21 April 2012

The vanished whale mystery

Mystery indeed.

Marine rescuers in California said they were unable to locate a gray whale last seen tangled in a fishing net off the coast of San Onofre.
Anyway, the San Onofre Walmart reported a sharp increase in sales of toothpicks recently...

Why I ain't baffled?

By this story:

Police in the US are baffled after a woman managed to drive her car into a telegraph pole in the middle of a wide-open desert. She somehow managed to plough straight into the middle of the 20ft pole, despite being surrounded by acres of empty desert in Rio Rancho, Sandoval, New Mexico.
I am not a cop, so I know the answer. But I am not telling. I know only too well which side is my bread buttered on...

20 April 2012

The Council Has Spoken!

Council Winners

Non-Council Winners

"White Hispanic" is PC? So here you go.

I mean here. Tee hee.

19 April 2012

Never forget

With thanks to Dick Stanley for the image.

And more about the image, thanks to David Gerstman.

18 April 2012

Highlights of Andrew Ian Dodge's speech at the LPME Convention 2012

What is allowed to Thomas Harding...

of The Telegraph is surely allowed to me:

From an article on Falklands' next invasion by Argentine by Thomas Harding.

I hope you don't think I am nitpicking. Because I sure is...

Watcher’s Council Nominations – Death And Taxes Edition

Ah….April is the cruelest month, they say. But if it is, nothing’s surer except that you’ll read about all of it right here like you will nowhere else.
Welcome to the inner sanctum of the Watcher’s Council, a blogging group consisting of some of the most incisive blogs in the ‘sphere, and the longest running group of its kind in existence anywhere. Every week, the members nominate two posts each, one written by themselves and one written by someone from outside the group for consideration by the entire Council.Then we vote on the best two, with the results appearing on Friday in this very space.
This week’s contest is fondly dedicated to The Dark Lord…long may he continue to punish our enemies.

Council News:
This week, Crime Victims Media Report , Right Truth and The Mental Recession took advantage of my generous offer of link whorage and earned honorable mention status with some killer pieces.
You can, too! Want to see your work appear on the Watcher’s Council homepage in our weekly contest listing? Didn’t get nominated by a Council member? No worries.
Simply head over to Joshuapundit and post the title a link to the piece you want considered along with an e-mail address ( which won’t be published) in the comments section no later than Monday 6PM PST in order to be considered for our honorable mention category. and then return the favor by creating a post on your own site linking to the Watcher’s Council contest for the week.
It’s a great way of exposing your best work to Watcher’s Council readers and Council members, while grabbing the increased traffic and notoriety. And how good is that, eh?
So, let’s see what we have this week….

Council Submissions

Honorable Mentions

Non-Council Submissions

Enjoy! And don’t forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter..’cause we’re cool like that!

17 April 2012

This is our dog, Peter Beinart!

There is that old classic joke that goes (approximately) like this:

A man strolling along a park alley sees another man sitting peacefully on a bench with a nice cuddly dog sprawling on the grass nearby. "Does your dog bite?" the strolling man asks the sitting one. "Nope, sir, my dog doesn't bite" is the answer. The man bends down to pet the doggy and, of course, the latter promptly sinks its teeth in the man's hand. "Why did you lie, you ...!" shouts the injured man to the occupier of the bench. "But this is not my dog, sir!" answers the bench sitter indignantly.

That good old joke came to my mind while reading a widely discussed article To Save Israel, Boycott the Settlements by Peter Beinart, the man who from a relative obscurity of a staunch Israeli supporter rocketed to a lofty position of... but later about it, let's go back to the article.

The article, unlike the usual blunt demand for dismantling the Zionist entity in favor of one-state solution by the usual anti-Zionist crowd, is full of nuances. It drives several wedges: the first one (no doubt to soften the rest of the article) splits the ostensibly pro-Israeli Peter Beinart from the BDS gang with its call for boycotting Israel and its products as a whole and with its call for right of return for all Palestinian refugees and whatnot.

The next wedge is being driven between us, the good Israelis, residing behind the Green Line and the others - the settlers:

Every time an American newspaper calls Israel a democracy, we should urge it to include the caveat: only within the green line.
Good Jooz, bad Jooz - does it sound familiar? And of course, American Jooz (are all of them considered equally good by Peter, I wonder?) should heed the distinction and boycott the bad ones.

But there is another wedge, where it gets even more nuanced: you see, there are some relatively good Jooz even among the generally bad settlers. It is defined by... the geographic proximity of the settlement to the Green Line:
If moderate settlers living near the green line resent being lumped in with their more ideologically driven counterparts deep in occupied territory, they should agitate for a two-state solution that would make possible their incorporation into democratic Israel.
Could we, possibly, have a map colored by prof Beinart according to the geographical badness (moderation?) of said settlers?

As an aside, I imagine a map of USA colored by the same principle, meaning by geographic proximity of the European settlements to the East Coast, where it all started. By this principle Peter Beinart, being located in NYC, resides in a relatively benign area, while the most progressive freedom-loving folks of California are the worst offenders. I can imagine the echo in the hallowed halls of Berkeley and similar places...

As I already said, a finely nuanced piece that. And being finely nuanced, prof Beinart leaves his mandatory "AssaJew" statement slip to the end of the article, unlike his less nuanced, really anti-Zionists brethren who usually start their diatribes with it:
More fundamentally, I am a committed Jew. I belong to an Orthodox synagogue, send my children...
... etc.

Oh well, but let's go back to the beginning. I have started with that dog, remember? The main problem with Peter Beinart's article and the finely nuanced wedges he is trying to drive in is that, leaving aside the matter of righteousness or evilness of the settlements, not one of us (Israelis), no matter how left- or right-leaning, can say "it is not my dog". Since 1967, consecutive Israeli governments sent the settlers out - be it for ideological or for financial reasons. The settlers, one and all, are part of us and, save that evil "ideologically driven" look in their eyes, practically indistinguishable from the rest of us. For better or worse, we have to deal with them in our own way, as the democratic institutions of this nation (located behind the Green Line) allow. Boycott them or boycott us - same difference, if you know what I mean.

And all attempts to present the settlers as somebody else's dog, while ingenious(*), are just an exercise in futility. I much prefer the straight no-nonsense hate of the BDS supporters - at least they have removed all the fig leaves lately.

Peter Beinart now: the phenomenon of gaining notoriety, popularity, fame if you will, through transforming self from a regular run-of-the-mill pro-Israeli American Jew to a critic of the said country and its (granted, somewhat defective) management, is not exactly new. With some inventiveness, imagination and lots of energy, such endeavor can indeed bring a lot of the above mentioned perks. I don't want to badmouth - after all, prof Beinart may be totally sincere in his stance. But the other examples are too fresh in mind to dismiss. And that "AssaJew" part...

(*) About driving all these finely honed wedges: it may be good for gaining more of sympathetic audience from the usual anti-Zionist crowd. Doesn't hardly work here.

Simply Che

Number nine in the collection. Not bad at all, methinks.

16 April 2012

On the Günter Grass affair

For reasons of taking a break from blogging and temporary detachment from news sources, I have (thankfully) been unable to discuss the above. Thankfully, because Francis Sedgemore has succinctly and shortly (which I am usually unable to do) summarized the whole story.

Two remarks:

  • I too was unable to fall in love with Günter Grass the writer. It seems to me that the man is totally devoid of sense of humor, and I rather pity such people.
  • The whole travel ban thingy was concocted by our Interior Minister Eli Yishai, a man who is grasping at straws for several (internal politics) reasons. Stupid of course. But lawful.

The drain water of blasphemy laws

Just a reminder that it poisons everything.

Cops' minds

The cases that illustrate the suspicious, paranoid and sometimes brutal police mentality:

1. Men arrested after deputy finds calf in backseat

New Mexico authorities have arrested three men found with a 220-pound calf in the backseat of their car.

The Carlsbad Current Argus reports that the men are accused of cattle rustling. They were jailed on charges of suspicion of larceny of livestock, conspiracy, lack of a bill of sale and exporting livestock.
So any time a person offers a ride to an animal, just being friendly to it, that person must be incarcerated? Even if the animal, as police confesses was "sharing the backseat with one of the alleged thieves"? Nah...

2. Man accused of urinating on co-workers' chairs
Police documents say Foley looked up employee photos in the agency database and then would go into the office during off hours and urinate on their chairs.
A non-prejudiced observer would have immediately spotted the fact that Mr Foley was behaving in a way typical for feline species: scent-marking his favorite people's haunts. Had reason prevailed, Mr Fouley would have been packed off to a research facility for dissection and study. As it is, he is wasting in the nick.

3. Idaho man with name tattoo tries to lie to police
An officer says he told three men who were walking on the street with a dog to move to the sidewalk, and that one looked like he might run away, so he asked for identification.

Contreras identified himself as Emiliano Velesco, and a police database search found no matches. The officer then had a dispatcher run a check with the birthday he was given and the last name tattooed on the forearm.
So, nowadays walking on a street with a dog and "looking like he might run away" is enough to get arrested by an overzealous gendarme? Notice the following too:
Contreras had three warrants for failure to appear on charges including providing false information.
The man has a problem with his name. Who knows, he may hate it because he fought with his parents. Or because he sees that name tattooed on himself too frequently. Or he just likes the name Emiliano Velesco - in fact, I like it too and will adopt it for my next meeting with a cop.

So where were we? Yes, them cops are a suspicious, paranoid and frequently brutal bunch. But yea, we kinda deserve them, you know.

15 April 2012

Mainstream journalism explained

Baboons can recognize words.

Oh, well. That was obvious for some time, wasn't it?

Mya Guarnieri and creative flying

The +972 journalist Mya Guarnieri, being an embedded reporter of the "flytilla" group reports from her front line position in Zurich, where she prepares to take a flight to Israel with some of the "activists". To save a piece of her reporting for posterity, I have made a snapshot (click to enlarge):

"...hundreds of flights scheduled to land in Israel Sunday have already been cancelled..." uhu. That in an airport that on a heavy traffic day receives somewhere between 300 and 400 incoming flights.

But then you can learn from the author's bio blurb that she got a Master's of Fine Arts in Creative Writing from Florida State University.


P.S. She also refers to "reports in international and Israeli media". The link she gave doesn't refer to hundreds of canceled flights. Probably Master's of Fine Arts in Creative Writing from Florida State University doesn't include any reading comprehension courses. Too bad.

P.P.S. The author of that post doesn't see eye to eye with his elected government on the policy toward the "flytilla". Letting them display some histrionics in the streets of Tel Aviv and/or Jerusalem would have been a better way, in my humble. Still, reporting should be reporting and not a pre-sold crapola Ms Guarnieri serves in huge doses.

Some Good News from Egypt - I hope.

Just a quick item from the Commentator. It's not all bad news from Egypt - just most of it. Read it and hope.

By Brian Goldfarb.

A bear was denied fully deserved dinner at the last moment

Watch it:


A hungry bear, a man who texts walking around - everything was set up perfectly...

I think PETA should intervene and ship that man back to the aggrieved animal. 

14 April 2012

Jews or Israelis? No matter, really.

This post is not addressing  various anti-Israeli or anti-Zionist groups, sub-groups or single individuals, save one category only: Jewish anti-Zionists and loosely affiliated with them "Israel? We could care less" Diaspora Jews.

This post was triggered, among other things, by a Ynet article about another malicious prank played by the Palestinian sympathizers of Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton.

More than 200 Jewish students attending Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton, were surprised to find "eviction notices" posted to their dorm room doors on Friday. The students later found out that the fake notices were placed by the Students for Justice in Palestine.
So what, you might say, after all these feisty SJP youngsters didn't shoot any Jewish children like the young Arab "martyr" in Toulouse recently. They didn't assault or verbally abuse anyone, just played a harmless, albeit malicious prank. And they consider themselves being in the right, having noble goals in mind:
"We want to raise awareness about the plight of the Palestinians," chapter President Noor Fawzy said. "The intent is to expose Israel's illegal policies and give students a feel of what it's like to live under occupation."
There might be various differing opinions about the plight, the policies and whatnot, although the Ynet article doesn't go into interpretation of the story, being more concerned with reporting facts (and many thanks to Ynet for that).

There is one detail, though, missed by the Ynet report and several other sources, both pro- and anti-Zionist ones, that I have scanned briefly. The pro-Palestinian "activists", in their righteous wrath and borderline illegal ingenuity, didn't place the fake eviction notices in a random fashion to teach the whole student body of Florida Atlantic University an object lesson about the cruelty and depravity of the Zionist aggressors. No, they have selected (how, I would like to know? - this question could be profitably addressed by the inquiry that is supposed to be under way) 200 Jewish students to participate, albeit passively, in that lesson.

Now, dear reader - and I consider this a quick and easy self-test for you - do you think that American Jewish students, hardly any of them Israeli, should become a target for that smelly propaganda prank? Which prank was supposedly addressed at the hated Zionist entity, to remind you.

I would say that the Jewish students in this case are a target no more relevant and/or legitimate than the three kids and their rabbi teacher in Toulouse murdered by that "martyr". I would also say that the line that was supposed to separate the Jews in general from the Israelis in particular seems to have totally disappeared from the (granted, unsophisticated) minds of the so called "anti-Zionists". A Jew is a Jew is a Jew for them and a legitimate target in these minds, no matter whether the Jew is of a Zionist, anti-Zionist or "neutral" variety.

So why I am addressing this post to my anti-Zionist and loosely affiliated with them "Israel? We could care less" Diaspora brethren? Because no matter how passionately and how frequently you flaunt your "Not in My Name" and "as a Jew I protest" and other pathetic slogans designed to repaint and otherwise maintain that blue/white line between your detached peaceful Jewish existence in peaceful and friendly Diaspora on one side, and these uncouth aggressive and lacking in spirit Israelis on the other side, the line exists in your own minds only. There is no such line in reality, there never was one, not in the minds of our enemies.  

Of course, you can blame your misfortunes on the behavior of Israel and Israelis, as some of you have done since that day in 1948. And do you know what? Keep up with this self-deception, if it makes you feel better.

Meanwhile we'll be celebrating another Independence Day in a week here. Yeah, and by the way - we are kind of used to eviction notices. 

Hat tip: Fred Lapides.

St Petersburg - Riyadh of the North

Sergey Kondrashev and his wife.

Russians claim that the former Russian capital is `Venice of the North`. Close, but no cigar. As a matter of fact, Saint Petersburg is Riyadh of the North.

They just enacted a law against `propaganda of gayness`. The other day St Petersburg police arrested an old pal of mine, lawyer Sergey Kondrashev. Why? Sergey is not gay, but he wrote and published a polite letter opposing the law. He also peacefully protested by making the following statement: `A friend of my family is a lesbian. We love and respect her. Her way of life is as normal as ours. He family is as good as ours`.

Further details can be found here (in Russian).

Please sign this on-line petition in support of Sergey.

And by the way... How come I don`t have any family friends like Sergey???

13 April 2012

Proposed internet surveillance

Whoever considered the Big Brother being dead, this will disabuse you of that idea.

Who hits what?

This is from CNN's on-line front page:

Hm... and I was confident that the current administration favors the Predator+Hellfire option over piloted jets...

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12 April 2012

Kofi Annan seeks Iran's help in Syria crisis

Couldn't help noticing that one even on my vacation.

I would like to know who is his weed supplier. Must be some fabulous stuff...

11 April 2012

US Jews and Obama: sorry, folks, but they're for him!

So, while we were in New York, visiting the Manhatten branch of the family for Passover, I was wandering up Broadway and I came across a kerb-side stall selling Forward (I think I'd preferred to have found an English-language Ha'aretz. but, hey, you get what you can these days), so, of course, I bought it, thinking of my duty to the readers of Simply Jews. Who knows, I thought, there might just be something they will find interesting here. And, of course, there is. On the front page is an article on the latest polling of Jewish voting intentions in the upcoming Presidential election.

The interesting part is not that US Jewish voters are for Obama 62% to 30% (identical to a June 2008 poll, which widened to 78% to 21% in November of that year), but that what motivates them the most are social issues and not Israel. Israel comes way down the list: as the report notes, "A majority of 51% pointed to the economy as the issue most important to their vote, followed by gaps between rich and poor (15%), health care (10%) and the federal deficit (7%). Only 4% of Jewish voters said Israel was the most important issue for them when deciding who should get their vote."

Of course, the report is far more nuanced than that. It goes on to argue that "The data would suggest that the Republicans’ focus on attacking both Obama’s record on Israel and his troubled relations with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was having little, if any, traction." I realise that this is of little comfort to those of you who don't rate Obama on Israel. However, think what it does to Mearsheimer and Walt and the likes of the thoroughly unpleasant Atzmon, and take what comfort you can from that.

As for us, we will be back in NYC on the second Tuesday of November 2012, hoping for a repeat of November 2008. Sorry about that. But Anne, of Anne's Opinions (another Israeli-based blog worth your attention), has graciously referred to me as a member of the "sane Left" - make of that what you will.

Read the whole article here. This issue of Forward also finally catches up with the UN Human Rights Council and its "probe" of the Settlement issue. We all know that's a code word for "condemning Israel in the Report - now go and write it up properly so it looks good". Old news, but at least it's there.

While I'm here (and I won't be for the next two weeks: we're off to Costa Rica, to look at the local wildlife: it's what's known as SKIing - Spending the Kids' Inheritance), there are a couple of heart-warming items from today's (10.4.12) London Evening Standard. The first concerns that supposed liberal-lefty, Ken Livingstone, who, it appears is losing ground to the supposed buffoon, Boris Johnson, in the Mayoral race to become the next mayor of London in May this year. Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke, I say (that's English irony, for those not used to the nuances of English as the British speak it). I didn't vote for Ken in 2008 and I won't be voting for him this year either. Anyone who calls himself a liberal, while (literally) embracing Abu Qaradawi, known homophobe, misogynist, Islamist and antisemite, deserves all he gets, electorally.

The other story is here. Abu Hamza, the one-handed (literally - he lost the hand in an explosion, but it's not clear quite how, despite his version, in the story) Islamist and Jihadi cleric, can be extradited to the US to stand trial on terrorism charges. The European Court of Human Rights says so. Victory for our human rights (the residents of London), I say. Roll on the plane to JFK carrying Abu Hamza, handcuffed to a couple of US Federal Marshals (Wyatt Earp did not live in vain), to appear before a US Federal Court. Unlike his victims, the most he can get is life imprisonment. They got death.

Oh, I almost forgot: this month's Atlantic has an interesting article on Rahm Emanuel, Obama's first Chief of Staff. almost hidden in there is an almost throwaway line about Emanuel trying to become America's first Jewish president. I wouldn't put it past both trying and even succeeding. Did you now that his father fought in Israel's War of Independence? Neither did I.

See you in May, folks.

By Brian Goldfarb.

By the editor: On the subject of poor Londoners having two alternatives, both unpleasant:

You have only yourself to blame for the situation, folks. But it may be not too late yet to elect this one:

Couldn't be much worse with him at the helm. At least he will install some ingenious devices in the public toilets for handicapped (hm...) persons...

09 April 2012

A PETA man on April 1

There is a bit of a difference between PETA's rather impotent well-wishing (and letting 90+% of animals in their shelters be killed) and encountering real (well, kind of) life.

Via Crazy Bald Guy.

07 April 2012

Happy Easter!

To all our Christian friends. And something to mark this one:

Well, it was either bunnies or eggs, so don't blame me...

06 April 2012

Happy Passover - Hag Pesach Sameach!

Recommended viewing mode: full screen.

And: the blogging next week will be light.

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05 April 2012

They got the sun too now...

Click on the picture to embiggen and check out the sun's image. The shot was taken with a regular camera in Finland, no Photoshop or other trickery applied.

Hat tip: G.S.

04 April 2012

Akhmed and the Atomic Matzo Balls

When you prepare to read a book titled Akhmed and the Atomic Matzo Balls or A Novel of International Intrigue, Pork-Crazed Termites, and Motherhood, your first instinctive action will be to look into the author of the opus.

Gary Buslik.

Hm... now this is a seriously rotten character if I have ever seen one. A man after my black and shriveled heart, and no doubt about it. Take, for instance, the following text he is trying to push as his CV:
When I finally got outed as a literature major, my poor mother cried for months, and my father would stride around the house ranting, "Big man! He knows the parts of speech!" After he kicked me out and disowned me, I lived in the airport for a while reciting Henry James for spare change [Ed: probably picking travelers' pockets]. One day a veteran travel writer took pity on me and showed me how, by making hotel and restaurant owners naively believe I would write good reviews about them, they would give me free rooms, meals, and drinks [Ed: read "offed a travel writer and am using his documents and, of course, that Amex Platinum card"].
So, all in all, the man passes the entry exam to the training course in the Elders' organization.

But what about the book? To start with, it has an eye-pleasing cover page:

Of course, exactly as the contents of the book, the cover is sick. So instead of staring at it for a long time and getting queasy, you are advised to open and to read it. And what about the contents? Colleague Bookworm calls it "rich satire". We, the Elders, don't know from satire and when we see one we usually try to kill it. Reading the book, however, caused me no end of worry. The man simply knows too much. How did he, for instance, know about predilection of Mahmoud the Mad (thinly veiled by the name of Akhmed) to matzo balls? This was one of the most strictly kept Elders' secrets, which helped us to raise Mahmoud's radioactivity to the level unknown in history and cause that green halo he was unwittingly bragging about. How did he stumble on the pork-obsessed termites (our Passover present to the Chief Rabbi to eliminate this unclean (but tasty) animal)? There are many other questions related to the information freely presented to the reader. In short, we fear an inside job.

Yes, this book reveals too much. Since we usually don't cry about spilled milk (after all, it's not spilled whiskey) we shall relax, swim with the current and think about various creative ways to re-educate Mr Buslik. As for the book, it definitely contains many thoroughly revolting, brain-curdling, nail-biting scenes that will ensure you will not only be unable to close it before you are through; no, you shall remain wide awake rereading some especially and sickeningly delicious passages. Unsurprisingly, camels are involved in some of them as well. In droves.

Oh, and you shall enjoy a nice tasteful image of a mutated pork-munching termite from time to time too, which feature of the book undoubtedly raises its fair market value.

Now to the main part of this review. After all, adjectives, curses and superlatives do not a rating make. One has to use a reliable and familiar scale, so I shall borrow one from the movie business. So here we go:
  • Sex: plenty of choice toe-curling scenes.
  • Nudity (imaginary, of course, but beggars cannot be choosers): enough for a summer vacation in a nudist camp.
  • Violence: galore.
  • Language: Crude and coarse to the hilt.
Suggested minimal age of the reader: 78 (sedated to prevent possible convulsions).

So what are you waiting for? Go and buy the book. Or, if you are not a tree killer, buy its digital copy. And remember, we, the Elders, are watching, so better hurry.