01 April 2010

Wayne Rooney's ankle declares itself an independent entity

Tells journalists:

This [expletive] Irish [racial slur] [expletive] can take my [expletive] scan results and stick them [double expletive]. These [racial slur] doctors can go [expletive] and [expletive] themselves to [expletive]. I am not supporting this crazy [expletive] anymore. My [expletive] health is worth more to me than this [expletive] mother [expletive] goals. If he cannot [expletive] do [expletive] underwear and [expletive] aftershave commercials like this other [triple expletive] bloke, I am done with him. I am [expletive] going on my own, see if I don't!
With these words the ankle stormed out of the physician reception room and was last seen rapidly moving in the general direction of Guernsey.

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