29 April 2010

Annette Edwards - Jessica Rabbit and the eyes, the eyes!

Check out the male interviewer's eyes. Hilarious.

Pilar Rahola speaks

Why don’t we see demonstrations against Islamic dictatorships in London, Paris, Barcelona? Or demonstrations against the Burmese dictatorship? Why aren’t there demonstrations against the enslavement of millions of women who live without any legal protection? Why aren’t there demonstrations against the use of children as human bombs where there is conflict with Islam? Why has there been no leadership in support of the victims of Islamic dictatorship in Sudan? Why is there never any outrage against the acts of terrorism committed against Israel? Why is there no outcry by the European left against Islamic fanaticism? Why don’t they defend Israel’s right to exist? Why confuse support of the Palestinian cause with the defense of Palestinian terrorism? An finally, the million dollar question: Why is the left in Europe and around the world obsessed with the two most solid democracies, the United States and Israel, and not with the worst dictatorships on the planet?
More here.

28 April 2010

Partying semi-naked in Al-Aqsa Mosque

Gosh, why no one ever invites me to parties like this one? Is it antisemitism? Or ageism? Or what?

May 20, 2010: first Everybody Draw Mohammad Day

If only I were able to draw... Details by Wolf Howling.

Sandra Bullock's surprise adoption

That's truly a surprise as surprises go. It took her four years to get it through... and here I am, ready for adoption and already toilet trained...

27 April 2010

Chocolate and depression: what do scientists miss

Another page was turned in the annals of unnecessary research:


Study links chocolate and depression
When the researchers controlled for other dietary factors that could be linked to mood ... they found only chocolate consumption correlated with mood.
In other words, the more chocolate you consume, the more depressed you are. Strange, that: usually I am the most depressed when a sudden craving for chocolate comes on and there is none around.

There is another observation:
Like alcohol, chocolate may contribute a short-term boost in mood followed by a return to depression or a worsened mood.
Them scientists: so clever - for short term and limited points of view. Have they given thought to our day being a sequence of short time periods that could be made quite lovely by finely timed and tuned intake of chocolate, alcohol, tobacco and food? I guess not...

26 April 2010

World, meet Hamas: Gilad Shalit clip

There is no English translation, but it's hardly required.



No comments.

Iran reportedly tests five new missiles

I wonder... with the quantities of missiles they test every few days - do they shoot every missile off as soon as it leaves the factory gate?

Someone better explain to them... or not?

Haveil Havalim #264 - it rocks and rolls!

Done by Elisson in an exemplary manner. Enjoy!

25 April 2010

Suing McDonald's for free meals

The following bit of news (in Hebrew) is quite hilarious: A citizen of Ashdod is suing Mcdonald's for damage to his health (specifically to his liver) caused by his habit of eating two free daily meals for many years while employed by the fast food chain.

The company response, which is rather cool, mentions, among other things, that the gentleman in question was entitled only to one free meal a day.

The response doesn't mention stupidity, of course, it being a legal matter where stupidity is not a valid argument. But...

Aren't segregated beaches passe?

Police say a meteorite fell onto city’s segregated beach.

A small rock-like object slammed into a Bat Yam beach on Saturday afternoon, surprising sun bathers with a thud and sparking a fire.
If this is not a clear sign from above to stop this crapola with segregated beaches, I don't know what is.
No one was hurt, and there was no damage done, the police reported.
Yeah, and it might be a good idea not to wait for a reminder. It might come in another size.

A missing pledge

Take your typical fair employment practices pledge from any modern organization, be it a government one or a private one and you shall see something like this:

It is unlawful to discriminate for or against employees or applicants for employment on the bases of race, color, national origin, religion, sex, age or disability.
Well, folks, I found that there is a missing element in this ubiquitous formula. Check it out.

24 April 2010

Hitler supports DMCA takedown notice

But of course, what else would you expect?

Hitler, as "Downfall producer" orders a DMCA takedown from Brad Templeton on Vimeo.



Viva EFF!

23 April 2010

On peculiarities of Yeti development in subtropical zone

This article is not a review of the article The Wookies invade Gaza by our learned colleague Elder. Its purpose is a) to dispel the myth about Wookiees and to b) refer to some locality-related peculiarities in development of the male Yetis.

1. Wookiees or Yetis?

Due to some confusion in modern alien biology, the term Wookiee, coined by some sensation-seeking Hollywood characters, was mistakenly applied to an allegedly alien species which, upon closer look are nothing more than a variety of reptilians. Reptilians, sometimes mistakenly called lizardoids, 6-foot lizards, etc, are the Elders' field operatives. The more prominent among them that could be mentioned are David Duke, David Icke and many others of that type (already outdated, obsolete and thus no more maintained, as it is easy to detect when you watch them). Most of the reptilians are used in menial tasks, such as heavy lifting, elimination of opposition (rare these days of world domination) and debts collection. The idea to use them as a quasi-intellectual anti-Semitic leaders of the dumb and the disaffected didn't work out due to insufficient brain power.

Reptilians are excellent shape shifters, and it will be naive to expect them to look like a 6-foot lizard. Most frequently they use the "furry giant" image that is a) practical; b) sufficiently frightening while cuddly and c) accidentally similar to Yeti.

2. Yetis in Gaza

Yetis, a hardy lot that was for thousands of years confined to remote inaccessible mountain ranges and, in rare cases, to deep forest corners (where they are known as Bigfoot or Sasquatch), have been noticed and used first by late Shah of Iran, who received several of them from the friendly King of Bhutan. His use of Yetis was limited to personal amusement and, sometimes, for interrogation of various suspects.

With advent of Islamic Republic of Iran, Shah's Yetis were converted to Islam and became zealous defenders of Islamic Republic, always in the front lines of the good fight. In the post linked above you can see the dark-colored fur of the Iranian Yetis.

Being the widely recognized patron of Hamas, Iranian Ayatollahs decided to ship a large consignment of Yetis to Gaza, where, after a generation or two, the coloration of their fur changed to the more suitable light brown (or beige, whatever SWMBO decides, I haven't consulted her yet).

Of course, the disadvantage of this coloration is its closeness to that of the Canaan dog, widespread in the area. Knowing the traditional aversion of Islam to canines of all kind, the danger of being shot in poorly lighted corners is definitely a factor to be considered by the Yetis.

Another drawback of the local variety of Yetis is that, being used to the cool and dry weather of the mountains, they are suffering the Gazan hot and humid environment not only physically but also mentally, which is evident to anyone viewing the above picture. Marching with guns in a straight column is a clear sign of poor judgment and an invitation to anyone with a large caliber weapon to check how many Yetis he/she could eliminate in one shot.

3. Yetis vs reptilians

There is no precedent yet of a direct confrontation between the two species. But the numbers so far are not in favor of Yetis, who are breeding very slowly and, besides, are less versatile regarding the areas of habitat, feeding and choice of weaponry, not to speak of reptilians' ability to change their external shape according to the situation in the field.

On a somewhat related subject: in the late Soviet Union there were attempts to cross-breed the two species. Most of the results are still unpublished, but one, at least, is widely known:

Conclusion

While the bold decision to adapt Yetis to the subtropical areas doesn't seem to be an overwhelming success so far, it is definitely to be watched closely. A recommended improvement of the Yetis' survivability is depilation of most of their body surface to allow better cooling. However, the fur in question being the main feature distinguishing Yeti from the rest of the local population, a question of bringing in the Yetis to start with could be reasonably broached.

So far this question wasn't answered satisfactory, and the field is wide open for further research.

A great reminder about a great source of renewable energy

Who is this "we" you speak of, Kemosabe? You seem capable of generating great gusts of wind out of your rear end. I suggest you bottle it and try powering your limo with it.
Applicable to many a Hollywood super-star who got consciousness and a new set of PC catchphrases after filling his/her bank coffers to bloating state. Oh, almost forgot: without acquiring a smidgen of brain cells, knowledge or, indeed, understanding.

22 April 2010

Oh Debka, Debka...

This is a Debka version of the "nuclear incident" in New Delhi:

Five people suffering serious burns were hospitalized in West New Delhi this week from contact with radioactive material in a Delhi scrap market identified as Cobalt-60 which may be used for making a dirty bomb.
There is a lot more where the quote comes from, including hair loss and skin turning black in five minutes or so, chancellor Angela Merkel, Barack Obama, nuclear terrorism, Indian prime minister, Pakistan's inaction against Muslim terrorists and whatnot...

Here comes the real, much less exciting story, involving a hospital getting rid of used radioactive source in the usual illegal way (throwing it out with other garbage), several days of unwitting exposure by unsuspecting scrap dealer and his hapless employees and the expected result:



Well, nothing lost - nothing gained, I guess. Another day in BS shoveling business...

Billy the goat that invaded Melbourne

Aussies are getting soft, it looks like.

Three people were taken to hospital after an angry goat invaded a nursing home in Australia.
And only one of the three was a patient in the nursing home.

What next: a ram that took Sydney?

21 April 2010

South Park, Islamic fundies and the chain of offense

The last published offense was caused by South Park to the Islam by displaying a bear suit allegedly stuffed with (invisible under the suit) Mohammed. And by laughing at people who get offended by this, pretty innocent joke.

Apparently you can't get away these days with laughing at people who are offended by even a derivative insult like this one.

Thus, after some hesitation, I came up with a following question: is it permissible to laugh at people that are offended by laughing at people who are offended by presentation of an object (allegedly) containing the prophet?

And if not, is it permissible to laugh at people who are are offended by laughing at people who are offended by laughing at people who are offended by presentation of an object (allegedly) containing the prophet?

And if the answer is negative again, is it permissible to... OK, you get the drift, I believe. When, in short, laughing at someone in this chain becomes permissible?

And, not to get away from the issue, but to present a different angle: isn't any depiction of any object potentially offensive to the kind of people who participate in the chain described above? Take, for instance, this one:

On one hand, you will surely say, we have here a pretty innocent depiction of a regular (albeit somewhat notorious) can of tomato soup. On the other, can we really be sure that the designer of the can didn't maliciously and insultingly put inside you know whom? Think about the potential offense caused by this act.

And this was just one of a myriad examples of offensive stuff. So, I suggest, we better start eliminating all and any of potentially... what the heck, let's fess up - practically offensive pictures of offensive objects that may... what the heck, that do contain prophet Mohammad. And then the offensive objects themselves. And then... you see it already.

And we better start now, I say.

Palestine 2 : Israel 1

That's to be fair. A trilogy in 4 parts from Nizo.

And I have to say it: this couch could have caused Armageddon indeed.

Promiscuous women cause quakes

Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi blames 'women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray' for tremors; says Iranians must 'adapt lives to Islam's moral codes' in order to 'avoid being buried under the rubble'
Reading these prophetic words created the following image of an average Iranian male in my mind:

With remote control, too...

Seriously, though: I can vaguely recall some tremors I've experienced at a sight of an attractive woman once. But measured at 8+ Richter? Hardly...

20 April 2010

Eyjafjallajokull - the Iceland volcano that wiped that smile off your faces!

Next time you see the name Eyjafjallajokull you shall keep your smile to yourself.


Details.

More details.

Picture filched from.

19 April 2010

Robert Gates: U.S. Lacks Strategy on Iran Nukes

All in all, it was a productive day for Robert Gates. Among his other discoveries:

  1. Roses are red and violets are blue.
  2. Pentagon building is called this way since it has 5 sides.
  3. We sure like to know what them Russkies are doing in Guatemala. Or is it Kamchatka?
And the day is not over yet.

Update:Gates found the strategy. "I've looked in the wrong drawer", he explains.

Microsoft - cold and inhuman...



(from BBC site - April 18, 2010)

18 April 2010

Haveil Havalim #263: Post - Yom ha Shoa edition

This week was indeed, as one of the bloggers mentioned, a frenetic one. Yom ha Shoa, the Kam/Blau scandal, the Holyland bribery affair that's just started to unfold, the Polish elite tragically expiring in a plane crash. Throw in about five (or ten) powerful earthquakes in different corners of the world, and the job of putting it all in a perspective becomes a tough one.

As usual, let's go to the reminder - what HH is about:

Founded by Soccer Dad, Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs -- a weekly collection of Jewish & Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It's hosted by different bloggers each week and coordinated by Jack. The term 'Haveil Havalim,' which means "Vanity of Vanities," is from Qoheleth, (Ecclesiastes) which was written by King Solomon. King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and later on got all bogged down in materialism and other 'excesses' and realized that it was nothing but 'havel,' or in English, 'vanity.'
Now that we are all on the same page we can start: again with a picture by Dzeni:

Note that the names on the Yellow Badge are not "recycled" from previous images - even though the shape is the same. A large version of the picture is available at this link.

Holocaust

What makes her different from many other Jews of her generation?

Her Holocaust Memorial Day.

Poland and the day of remembrance.

Holocaust Memorial Day: thoughts.

Never again
.

A Window to Hope and Despair.

The Story of the Treblinka Extermination Camp.

Day Of Remembrance

Lest we forget.

Tragedy and Glory: Resistance and Remembrance on Yom HaShoah.

The 'Virtues of Memory'.

Against All Odds, My Grandmother’s Story.

Personal Journeys: A Child of the Holocaust.

Deanna Durbin and the Holocaust.

Nu, Israel?

The Scandal (a separate paragraph for the Kam/Blau affair). We shall definitely continue talking about it for a while. Like In The Time of The Judges, say some. And how about Moshe Negbi who thinks that Anat Kam is Another Ellsberg? And, as a matter of self-aggrandizing: my four bits too.

Smelly and yummy usually means cheesy.

The US-Israel bond may shake and break. For sure.

Let's Wait A Generation or Two - I am ready to.

The phony “peace process” - yes, as phony as they come.

Dog, cat, kids and a Shiloh history story.

Falafel for falafels. It's time, too...

Taking Down the Caravilla. Be shaah tova!

And another day in Israel.

Will a "Palestinian" Islamic Terror State be Forced Upon Israel?

About the Money…

Bulldozing our history.

And, on the other hand: Israeli street names: Hassan Shuqri.

Remembering Chaim - Memorial Day 5770.

It isn’t Israel causing Iran’s race for the bomb.

Israel’s economic rather than military wings are spread and flying independently. Good.

Solution for High School Tuition Crisis? Almost, I would say.

On Ariadna Jove Martí, Conflict Tourism and Wannabe Martyrs.

Jewish Anti-Semitism. It sure goes around.

Let Them Meet Steel. Maybe.

A marriage of convenience - would you believe such a thing exists?

110 useful and educational links about Israel toward Independence Day.

Judaism and Jewish Culture

Aren't we, the Jooz, allowed to pour some righteous wrath from time to time, even if the pouring is pretty much virtual and harmless?

The bus issue that just wouldn't go away or Rebellion On Jerusalem Bus No. 74 .

On the pace and scheduling of public prayer (I wonder why, if we are so clever, hadn't we invented that prayer wheel?).

On Ta’amei Ha-Mitzvot.

Teaching Jr About Tolerance of "Other" Jews. Yep, not easy that one.

Religion and State in Israel - April 12, 2010 - in two parts.

A good question regarding modesty. And another on mikvah rules.

How did Chazal know that 'drop exudes from the brain and develops into semen'? Well, isn't it all in our minds? I wouldn't know the answer for sure.

Are the Samaritans right in how to spell veHanosei?

What is Yom HaAtzmaut?

Ah, But How White are His Teeth! Good.

On orthoprax Jews and orthoprax Christians.

And now to the big stuff.

A Time to Keep Silent…and A Time to Speak. A great one, even if I say it.

Man: pinnacle of Creation or anticlimax? I knew a person that claimed that pinnacle to be a dose of tequila with salt and lemon on the side, but it's questionable... cause there is whiskey.

Once upon a time, there was a holiday called Pesah (Passover).

Rescuing Lust from Extinction.

Now, does a woman have to be afraid if she runs past a group of Haredi men in the park?

Stuff Yeshivish People Like. Why, some of these I like too...

Out and About (and the Benefit of the Doubt).

Understanding the Misunderstood: The Bible
.

General (politics and other trifles)

So what is the Middle East's biggest con-game? No, it's not oil. And when you have your usual guilty party in your sights, you don't have to worry about Iran.

President Obama’s Anti-terrorism Theatrics: A Tale of Two Cities.

Equal opportunity blamers - a new game in town? And don't miss The wages of appeasement.

Did Netanyahu Come To Obama's Nuclear Summit After All--Impersonating Sarkozy?

Definition of “terrorism”. With a "but".

A challenge: tell your story in six words! Prizes - TBD (To Be Defined).

Obama’s Pie in the Sky. And We Need to Connect the Dots.

Gnome Chomsky 5: and his dog predicate. He he he.

National Nuclear Festival in Tehran. A strange holiday, you would agree.

British Lawyer Wants to Throw Global Warming Doubters in Jail! For Eco-Cide? Nu, shoin, now I have seen it all (Nah, I am joking, of course).

Darkness in Gaza: so who is guilty? Guess.

Baby Assad vs. Barack Obama. 1:0 after the first game.

Those far right but very wealthy Jewish-American organizations. Go figure.

Stephen Walt gets a smackdown. Always a pleasure.

The wrong way to fight Jihad.

Get some perspective on Jewish losses, Obama!

Times Square bombing plot – seriously scary. More to come, I'm afraid.

76 of 100 Senators urge Clinton to reaffirm bonds with Israel. Like one can count on whatever Hilary pledges.

The Guardian parades Rachel Shabi’s ignorance – again. Bleh...

Ed Koch: almost off the Obama train. Thank You, Former Mayor Koch.

Blank slate.

Of Plots And Monsignors. Cool? You bet.

One-state tour visits our town. Or - a plague of one-staters?

Mass Starvation and Displacement in Syria.

Dangerous doppelgangers - has this ever happened to you? Er...

Calling all angels. Yes, we may need some of them soon.

Hebrew: To Unite All Jews. Yes, but sometimes on a bad day I think that it will be better if each of us was talking a different language, to prevent internecine squabbles.

Why ChaCha = Fail?

Kyrgyzstan Jewish Community Anxious. I am anxious to know what the heck they are doing there.

Fun

Do you recognize this man?

Solar power scam - I put in it "Fun", although it is neither here nor there. Amazing stuff.

All the people should glorify the honor of being his soldiers and disciples and dash like the wind toward the victory in the drive to build a thriving nation under the uplifted banner of the Juche idea. Mmm... lovely.

A model Zionist? And no drooling on your keyboard, please.

On the other hand: Don’t Let the Bed Bats Bite. Yup.

Unbelievably, many, many families are washing men’s and women’s clothing together at the same time in the same washing machine. It may lead to... to... dancing!!!

BEAJ has finally found a home. Oh boy...

Malaysian Politicians Keep Finding Zionist Plots. All's well, long as it keeps them busy.

British elections campaign and the ups and downs of cows.

How-to cut a Star of David - in 5 paper folds and 4 cuts only!

"Oh Beautiful for Toiletries...." He he.


Cats (but of course)and (as an exception) dogs

Now It Can Be Told: That Cat Can’t Stay Is Out!

Does a person have a right to a bad day? I guess so.

Personal

Locusts. A matter of taste, I am still sure (this is why I put it in Personals).

Jacob Richman opened a Cafepress Store.

I have danced to the end of love, she says.

A History of My Child's Life.

Why Rabbis have no friends, Part 24. Do they? Some of my best... nah, I am delirious.

Take life as it comes, a day, and an hour, at a time. Advises don't come any better than this one.

And now to the Late City Edition.


Meta HH
Please send your posts for the next edition of the Haveil Havalim Blog Carnival via the Blog Carnival Submission Form. I found this to be very helpful in organizing your posts this week. If you're interested in hosting or receiving more information about the carnival, please contact Jack at talktojacknow-at-sbcglobal-dot-net.
And please, let me know if you find a broken link, it happens from time to time.

17 April 2010

Norway run via iPad

This is how it looks now:


Details.

How well endowed was JC indeed?

Not that this is an issue I have ever been concerned with, but Jams, as informative as ever, spilled a new light on it.

After I was done laughing, I have looked up the San Damiano cross. Indeed, the anatomy issues put aside, a person with inflamed imagination could...

16 April 2010

Advance notice of my upcoming retirement.

My dear reader(s?),

It is with a mix of sadness and happiness that I am publishing this notice. A long awaited tide of wealth is coming my way soon. It brings the opportunity to put an end to the grim and dangerous life of an Elders' operative which, while rewarding and exciting, offers long and tedious hours, irregular and unscientific feeding schedule, occasional bouts of gratuitous violence and overall tendency to moral and mental degradation. It's time to turn the page and to spend the rest of my life, short as it will be, in the pursuit of hedonistic pleasures and unseemly experiences that only a great amount of money can bring. But I owe you an explanation.

Not a long time ago I have published an excerpt of my correspondence with Mr Robert Mueller, III, FBI Director. It so happened that FBI has decided to intervene into a completely legal transaction between the esteemed government of Nigeria and yours truly. Suffice to say that the amount of this specific transaction was US$10,500,000.00.

Only my firm and uncompromising stand and finely tuned crisis resolution skills have solved this standoff, and I am happy to announce that I have received the following reply from Mr Mueller:

Attn: Beneficiary,

Compliments of the day, I Wish to inform you that your Payment has been released and you will need to contact the payment Officer Mr. Kelvin Williams with the informations as stated below.

CONTACT INFORMATION
NAME: Mr. Kelvin Williams
EMAIL: williamskelvin888@yahoo.cn
Telephone: +2348138938981

Do contact Mr. Kelvin Williams of the ATM PAYMENT CENTER with your details:
...

Also please be informed that all neccesary Documents has been put in place all you will have to do is to make sure you can be able to afford 110 USD for the Delivery of your Funds which is to be sent to you via an ATM SWIFT CARD using FedEx International Courier Service.

we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.

Thanks and hope to read from you soon..

Regards,

ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR, FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
Needless to say, I have already had a lengthy and entirely satisfying discussion with Mr. Kelvin Williams and the remaining details of the transfer of the US$10,000,000.00* were ironed out to mutual satisfaction.

(*) Of course, it should be noticed that the amount in question is US$500,000.00 less than the original one, but one should not begrudge such a pittance to the leader of such proud institution as FBI (see the previous post linked above). He has a great weight of responsibility to carry on his shoulders, and I am happy that the government of Nigeria (indirectly) and I are able to contribute to the righteous fight with national and international crime.

So, as soon as I receive this magic ATM SWIFT CARD via FedEx International Courier Service, my blogging and Elders' days are over. A new period of opulence, of endless moral and physical debauchery and of joyful gallop to the end of my days will commence.

There is one, purely technical detail that I would like to raise with you, my dear reader(s): you may have noticed in the letter above that I have to raise the amount of $110 for the Delivery of my Funds. I hope that you will find it in your hearts and your wallets to assist me in my last steps towards my final state of nirvana. Please send your much appreciated funds via this link and be blessed by me, by Nigerian government and by all relevant deities.

Thanks for your attention and your kindness.

15 April 2010

The "meteorite" in Midwest landed near Roswell

According to this:



A more spectacular recording:



And an astute commentator under the second recording says:

this is just a glimpse of what is in store for planet earth and its rebels against God. Im sure when the 100lb hail stones begin to fall they will just say it has happen before no big deal. LOL
Yeah, dude, and you didn't even mention the little green men with the big ray guns. And lotsa teeth. Then we'll see who says LOL last.

American Airlines backs off of lutefisk program

After five crew members who were preparing the passengers' dinner in the cooking area of the Boeing 767-300 became ill. Only a bold decision of the first pilot to land in Keflavik airport, where they have lots of experience in dealing with similar cases, saved the lives of the team.

A secret memo was distributed in American Airlines offices, effectively canceling the revolutionary new program that, using recently discovered treasure of lutefisk dated back to XI century, would have allowed American Airlines to reduce the price of a meal from $1.76 to $1.14.

14 April 2010

Angelina Tracy and Charlie Sheen?

The latest news about CS' shenanigans has two simultaneous results:

1. It explained to me why the 911 conspiracy remained unresolved, despite CS' serious intentions to reveal all.

2. It confused me mightily. Like any red-blooded male, I've been googling for a picture of the (undoubtedly) fair Angelina, and these are the only two I have found:














Since the humans in the picture seem to be interchangeable, I guess that Angelina Tracy is the name of one of the chickens. I didn't know that Charlie is into chickens. It explains the reason why, while it is known that he is in a rehab right now, the nature of the rehab wasn't specified.

Oh Charlie, Charlie...

Mystery lovers: watch this!

Only if you don't know Arabic, of course:



Now guess what is it about:

  1. Danger of secondary smoking?
  2. Computer issues and heart disease?
  3. Driving a French car correctly?
  4. Firearms and their handling?
  5. Contact with spirits (not in the sense of alcohol)?
Nizo explains.

Now this is what I call a real crime!

13 April 2010

Anat Kam - Uri Blau affair - update 3

It is two CDs now that went missing and not one, as published yesterday. From Haaretz itself:

The two compact disks on which Anat Kam copied 2,000 secret documents and visual presentations from the office of the head of GOC Central Command have disappeared, Haaretz learned Monday.

The Shin Bet security service has searched the home of Kam, who has been accused of giving the documents to Haaretz reporter Uri Blau. The disks have also not been found in a search of the GOC Central Command offices.
There really isn't anything to add to this, any comment will be superfluous.

Latest Hamas Poster

Tee hee... incomparable, as usual.

Physician, heal thyself - if it's not too late

But I am afraid that in this case it already is too late. Funny farm would be my prediction.

12 April 2010

Anat Kam - Uri Blau affair - update 2

Thanks to Jameel, I have just read another news on the subject that put a totally new light on the case:

The Tel Aviv District Court allowed several new details in the Anat Kam affair to be released Monday, among which is the disconcerting discovery that one of the CD's burnt by the indicted journalist has gone missing.
The damage to IDF and, consequently, to the country as a result of this criminal lack of responsibility is stupendous, and I can only hope that the two idiots are realizing the gravity of their actions. It is unclear from the article who of the pair lost the CD, but it explains why Mr Blau is reluctant to return home.

As for the lady, she is quoted in the same article saying:
I couldn't make a big enough difference during my service.
I hope that she is not too stupid to understand what magnitude of difference she caused - both in material damage and in possible loss of lives...

Anat Kam - Uri Blau affair - update

This update is way too important to become a part of the previous post on the subject. As heard on radio (the transcript here in Hebrew):

Manny Mazoz, the previous government legal adviser, stated as early as January 2009 that the targeted killings performed by IDF in Jenin and Nablus didn't stray from the High Court of Justice guidance, unlike what was claimed in the 2008 article by Uri Blau.
Further reading on the same subject - by Soccer Dad.

On a related subject:
Anat Kam will relinquish her journalistic immunity as the source of Haaretz reporter Uri Blau and is calling on him to return to Israel from London with all the documents she has given him, her defense attorney Avigdor Feldman told Haaretz on Sunday.
Journalistic immunity for a soldier stealing classified documents? WTF?

11 April 2010

Anat Kam - Uri Blau affair - a shallow overview

Thanks to the quirks of fate and the weather, I have spend the last three days detached from the keyboard, so when Shin Bet chief decided to open a narrow crack in the Pandora box of Kam/Blau affair, I was out of all this and didn't post any knee-jerk responses for which I would be forced to blush today.

Since then, quite a lot of information became available, including the indictment against Anat Kam. It is clear, though, that this info is only the tip of the iceberg, and thus any analysis of the case will be of necessity shallow till more details see the light of the media (if ever).

To start with the conclusion, though: a large quantity of excrement hit a very powerful fan, and there is no person or organization in this story that avoided being covered with some of it. A rare case when I can totally agree with Yaakov Katz of JP: A scandal that leaves no one looking good.

1. Anat Kam (but of course)

Whatever went through this lady's brain when she was stealing thousands of IDF documents will remain unknown to the public, her future bio full of self-adoration notwithstanding. She can call herself a fighter for law, order and human rights till she is blue in the face - it wouldn't make what she's done look better. She purloined about 700 IDF documents classified "Secret" and "Top Secret" having nothing to do with human rights and politics, but everything with extremely sensitive issues like "plans of military operations, summaries of discussions within the IDF, deployment and order of battle (ORBAT) of IDF forces, summaries of internal IDF inquiries, IDF situation estimates, IDF targets, and so on". She accumulated the documents during her army service and copied them just before her discharge from the IDF, leaving no doubts whatsoever regarding her starry-eyed innocence. Whatever her motives were, she should be punished. If, however, some of the already published documents, as it is claimed, point to IDF crossing the lines established by the High Court of Justice, she deserves a (small) monument as a whistleblower, to be located close enough to her cell's window.

2. Uri Blau and his newspaper (Haaretz)

Uri Blau has seemingly done what a good journalist is supposed to do. He got the scoop, published it (Hebrew text) and thus delivered the goods as his chosen profession dictates. Not only this, he also received the green light to publish from the IDF censor. Haaretz, his employer, supports him in his (seemingly enforced) exile in UK till the negotiations with Shin Bet about the return of the classified documents are over and Blau's immunity is reconfirmed. So far so good.

But then some questions pop up. First of all, why didn't Blau and his employer simply return all the documents that Ms Kam handed to them, without withholding part of them for reasons that are, frankly, not very persuasive?

And another, purely hypothetical question: are Blau and/or Haaretz to be blamed for disclosure of their source to security organs? While Shin Bet stated that they got to Ms Kam using their own means, it sounds somewhat fishy. The severity of Ms Kam's crime notwithstanding, the journalistic ethics and the law should be upheld no matter what, and this point should disturb other potential whistleblowers (the real ones, I mean).

3. IDF

There are two main points to be made:

  • If, as the linked above article in Hebrew seems to prove fairly conclusively, IDF indeed went against the clearly put (in Hebrew) guidance of the High Court of Justice, many heads should roll. Knowing the IDF (and any other army) ability to stonewall any problem to oblivion, I doubt that anything of significance will happen.
  • And another serious issue: the unbearable easiness of access to the classified information that was demonstrated in the case of Anat Kam. Availability of classified information, ease of gathering, accumulating and getting it out of the workplace points not only at general laxity of security, but also at criminal neglect on the side of commanding officers and security in the environment where Ms Kam acted with such remarkable chutzpa. According to herself: "she told her roommate about the lack of compartmentalization in the army office where she had been, and said access to the documents was easy. "It's not logical that there was access like that..." Re any expected results of internal IDF "cleanup" - see the remark above.
4. The judiciary and the gag orders

No, it's not about the High Court of Justice but about the judges that issued the gag order. The attempted blackout of the press for four months, ostensibly to allow the security organs to make progress in their investigation, while the chief suspect is put under house arrest with free access to all kinds of communication gear, while the Internet and foreign press have a field day, was more than stupid - it was harmful to no end. No one with at least one available finger, one available eye and access to the Internet was fooled or restrained by the gag order. But during the blackout period lots of wild theories and misinformation was spread by enemies of Israel, and the friends of Israel were mightily confused. It is time and again that the sense, or lack thereof, of the press blackout is being questioned, but we don't seem to be able to learn...

As Yossi Melman, the defense expert, rightly puts it:
For those state security "gatekeepers" any case, even the most minuscule and irrelevant, poses an existential threat to Israel's security. When it comes to security issues, they find it hard to separate the wheat from the chaff, using cannons against flies. That is, until reality slaps them in the face. They remind me of the saying on the House of Bourbon, they "learned nothing and forgotten nothing."
So when both our friends and our enemies are referring to "Iranian style censorship", let's not be surprised. Aside of uncounted harm, the gag order has hardly done anything of note.

And this image of a newspaper page ravaged by censor will remain in memory of many, no matter how much information is provided after the fact...

5. Security fellows (Shin Bet and others)

Four months under house arrest for a (allegedly dangerous) spy? Gag order of indefinite duration? Highly sensitive documents still at large after all this time? Burgling a journalist flat, turning it over like a bunch of junkies after a few trinkets?

This salad will make both Dubai chief of police and Commissar Clouseau envious... nothing to add.

6. The law

No matter what kind of person Anat Kam is and what her ideology, intentions and stupidity level are, trying to fit to her crimes the same measure of severity that was used on, say, the Soviet spies Marcus Klinberg or Yisrael Bar, is a wild exaggeration. Certainly the charge of "Serious (aggravated) Espionage" that fits the two latter cases like a glove is not sitting well on minuscule Ms Kam. While she seems to be deserving a severe punishment, she is a far cry from the spies mentioned. The charges leveled at her are, however, the same as those that put real spies in jail for many years. The problem, however, is that there is no other existing law or, at least, a matching paragraph in the same one that would fit. It was already discussed several times, but there is no solution so far on the side of the lawmaker.

7. Anat Kam and left and right in Israel

I don't even want to separate the two demented wings of the current public discourse. Both could benefit from a few days in a padded room, maybe even together. From hysterical calls for capital punishment to hysterical campaign for blind support of the new hero of human rights, it's rather difficult to tell which one is behaving in the more revolting manner.

But this was kind of expected.

8. Our "friends" abroad.

The gag order was a boon for may an anti-Israeli journo and blogger. Leaving bloggers aside, here are some examples of creative use of facts. To start with, the Guardian - Rory McCarthy in Jerusalem:
Israeli authorities' decision to lift a gag order has revealed the extent of serious spying charges brought against a journalist [emphasis mine] from the country who is accused of leaking top secret military documents.
What can you say about this flawless execution of sleight of hand? The only missing item in that sentence is that the accused is being charged not as a journalist for a gossip column but as an IDF soldier who has stolen lots of secret documents. But hey, this is Guardian, capisce?

Judith Miller, The Daily Beast (the same much censored article in the picture above):
A 23-year-old journalist is under arrest for exposing a secret Israeli assassination plot, and another has fled to London, afraid for his life.
Same trick with the "23-year-old journalist" as in the Guardian, with a juicy addition of "another" one fearing for his life. Even the said "another" didn't mention such fear in his own article. But Judith knows better, of course.

And so it goes, with friends and foes clearly polarized, focusing on two different angles of the whole: foes - on the IDF breaking the law and friends - on Anat Kam being a spy.

What can I add: both sides seem to be right. Partially. As I am partially right too, bringing up 8 different angles of this sorry affair.

A wondrous Russian plane

As in many a tragic incident, hasty headline editors don't disappoint in this case too:

(The article itself is, of course, about the Tupolev 154 and its rather rich history of crashes.)

10 April 2010

Put the pedal to the metal

09 April 2010

Emma Shah performs Hava Nagila

Emma Shah is a Kuwaiti singer, which makes it even more interesting:



Wow! What a voice!

And then there is the political side of the issue - from Elder of Ziyon.

Thankfully, art has no border. But, on the other hand, stupidity has no limits...

Everything could have been different...


Author unknown. Source.

08 April 2010

Russian demotivators

The notice under the red "Emergency Exit" sticker says: "Attention! Make sure that the polar bear is absent before leaving the cafeteria!".

Hat tip: D.B.

When an anti-Israel film becomes a turkey

In some places an anti-Israel film will be a winning proposition anytime, but not this one. Guess. Or read.

07 April 2010

Judith Butler and the hazards of higher learning

To my shame, I was ignorant of professor Butler's existence, so you will have to bear with me through some quotes from her Wiki bio:

Judith Butler (born 24 February 1956) is an American post-structuralist philosopher, who has contributed to the fields of feminism, queer theory, political philosophy, and ethics. She is currently the Maxine Elliott professor in the Rhetoric and Comparative Literature departments at the University of California, Berkeley.
I confess to understanding most words in the above, if not some of the constructs ("queer theory"?). In any case, it's clear that we are looking at an extraordinary gifted person, and the (partial) list of honors and awards only strengthens this impression:
  • 2008: Andrew W. Mellon Foundation Distinguished Achievement Award, University of California, Berkeley
  • 2007: Elected a Member of the American Philosophical Society
  • 2004: Brudner Prize, Yale University
  • 2001: Rockefeller Fellowship
  • 1999: Guggenheim Fellowship
One should be honored to receive his measure of oxygen from the same atmosphere, I would say. And be happy that our kids' brains and futures are being molded by such capable hands.

Then one encounters a quote from the professor's body of work:
Yes, understanding Hamas, Hezbollah as social movements that are progressive, that are on the Left, that are part of a global Left, is extremely important.
And one starts wondering. Not about the possible fate of the esteemed professor (awards and honors included), would the esteemed professor have been born in one of the Hezbollah enclaves. And not really about the "progressive social movements". And not even about the "global Left".

It's our kids that I am concerned about, you see...

Via Contested Terrain.

Do you care about CAIR?

Pronounced just like "care", and a mighty peculiar outfit it appears to be:



Via Louise.

Didgeridoo, face jacker channel 4, goles de Messi al arsenal

Here is a didgeridoo being used:

And here comes Messi:

(He will eat dirt come Mondial, mind you).

And I don't even want to know about the facejacker, but what is common between the three? Somebody is messing with the internets, methinks...

06 April 2010

Sumo Low, Sweet Chariot

When PC takes the cake... again and again.

You would think that, after saying "unbelievable!" ten times in a row, one would learn something. But no, I am obviously too old to learn by now...

Irredentism, lies and Andrew Sullivan

A visual illustration like the one below goes a long way to support a bunch of lies.

It's catchy, simple and allows a bunch of liars to swindle even people who are supposed (or were supposed) to be intelligent enough to see through the ruse. And to understand that, as Ami Isseroff writes in his powerful article Palestinian Land Loss Narrative, "Irredentism is suffused into national culture by those who wish to make peace impossible".

Read the whole article.

05 April 2010

Martin Linton and our tentacles

This is really an enigma for me:

Speaking at a fringe meeting in the House of Commons on March 23, Martin Linton, founder and chairman of Labor Friends of Palestine & the Middle East, said: "There are long tentacles of Israel in this country who are funding election campaigns and putting money into the British political system for their own ends."
The man succeeded to get so close to the truth in the first half of this sentence, only to contradict himself in the second. Indeed, we do have lots of tentacles in Great Britain, so many in fact that we already consider exporting some of the stuff to other places. But then why, for crying out loud, should we put money into something we already own lock, stock and fairly moldy barrel?

And then he goes and apologizes... this I couldn't understand until seeing his picture:

Notice the dot on the upper right side of his forehead? It's where the tentacle he spoke about goes in for the daily programming. I guess he missed a few times already, judging by that crooked smile.

We'll have to take care of that, because otherwise in a few days he will start drooling on his tie and wetting himself, and we can't have this in the Parliament, can we? After all, he is not one of the Royals...

02 April 2010

Rep. Hank Johnson, capsizing Guam and subtlety

You may laugh as much as you want at the subtle humor of this:



But the latest news is rather shocking: not only has Guam capsized, it is free floating in the air now, after shedding the weight of the military installations:

Air Force is considering whether to nuke the island in the air before it reaches a major landmass and falls down on an inhabited area, causing a catastrophe.

Via: Texas Scribbler.

Atkins diet revisited



Hat Tip: Regan of The Orange Orb.

Topeka, Google and I

To beat Topeka I'll change my name to Google Google. Or, maybe, Google Bin Google Google?

01 April 2010

Wayne Rooney's ankle declares itself an independent entity

Tells journalists:

This [expletive] Irish [racial slur] [expletive] can take my [expletive] scan results and stick them [double expletive]. These [racial slur] doctors can go [expletive] and [expletive] themselves to [expletive]. I am not supporting this crazy [expletive] anymore. My [expletive] health is worth more to me than this [expletive] mother [expletive] goals. If he cannot [expletive] do [expletive] underwear and [expletive] aftershave commercials like this other [triple expletive] bloke, I am done with him. I am [expletive] going on my own, see if I don't!
With these words the ankle stormed out of the physician reception room and was last seen rapidly moving in the general direction of Guernsey.