14 June 2007

Che Guevara is Jewish. It is final.

Some people expressed their disbelief in our latest notice to the world about this, hitherto controversial, character. Since the day of publication of this momentous article, our field operatives have been very busy in the field (where they belong, instead of raiding the department fridge and ogling my secretary). Of course, due to the secrecy that surrounded the Jewish connection of the Commandante, the task is not easy. But the first ironclad piece of evidence eventually surfaced in the archives of the Jerusalem central yeshiva of religious-Zionist movement - Yeshivat Merkaz Ha Rav. To remind you, this is where Che spent the happiest year of his short but eventful life, totally engrossed in the ancient wisdom of the Hebrews, frequently forgetting the most sacred ritual of the yeshiva - the meal times.

As any yeshiva student, Che had to carry a student ID card - both for security reasons and to prevent the entrance of freeloaders. And it was our unbelievable luck to locate this card with a (low quality, but clear enough at that) picture of Che.

We have also located the photographer who has taken the picture (after Che spent a month in hiding, growing his hair according to the obligatory fashion). The red background, it was explained, served as the best measure to hide the location, the time of the day and the surrounding scenery that could have been otherwise discovered by CIA and KGB. On the other hand, the new image of Che was an ideal one for hiding from the above mentioned unmentionables - who would look twice at a yeshiva student when seeking the fiery Commandante?

It is very possible that in the next newsflash we'll present the rabbinical diploma of Che (it is a very rare case when an especially gifted student finishes the studies and is able to pass the final exams in one year). We are currently in the difficult, but nonetheless enjoyable process of turning the screws on the Mossad Chief Archivist. Soon...

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5 comments:

KAL! said...

CHE WASNT JEWISH AND NEVER BEEEN!!! DUH HE WAS AGNOSTIC U FUCKA!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Not true, KAL: Che was di-agnostic, if he was anything at all!

Yougottabecrazy said...

 Oh look is this a serious web-site or not can I get a proper answer PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! Was Che born Jewish? YES OR NO? Please! Tell me! I'm pretty sure he was born a KKKhristian but if you know better prove me wrong in 5 words...

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Yougottabecrazy,

1. It is not a serious website.
2. For a full and final answer to your question go to the article Jewish Che Guevara affair.
3. But it can do some brain damage, be warned.

Anonymous said...

@KAL! Even though this is a joke, your response 'agnostic' is assuming the Jews are merely a religious group, a strategy the political Judaists use so the Goyim don't figure out their tribal group self-interest politics. Trotsky was a Jew and an atheist same with Marx. As for Che, he is genetically a Sephardic Jew. Communism and Marxism are still promoted by leftists and liberal leaders under the guise of altruism. It's a Jewish con and the vast majority are Jewish. It is the product of a Semetic brain and it's in their genes. It's in some of our genes buy more them than us. That's the big secret. Yin and yang. Good and evil. St. Peter and St. Paul. Left and right, even among handedness. Neanderthal and Cro Magnon. There I said it. We are not all the same, mankind is a hybrid species. All light skinned peoples are a hybrid between Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon. Some moreso than others